I've decided that I'm telling. I am freeing myself from this life of lies by telling every relevent person and every relevent thing- starting with the OW's H. <P>I was reading some literature on the counseling victims of sexual abuse within families and it suggested that keeping secrets is how the abuse lasted as long as it did and how it can happen again. This infidelity was certainly a situation of sexual abuse within the family. Makes sense to me. <P>So, I told my mother that the STBX was NOT coming back (she's been our greatest supporter). I told her that he had another girlfriend. It felt good to finally say it. *I* did nothing wrong. Why should I hide?<P>I told my MIL (from a previous marriage) who was also rooting for us, that the STBX has a restraining order against him and I will not allow him to disrupt my or my daughter's life again. <P>I am compiling a list of all the cell phone calls my STBX made to his whore along with a detailed letter outlining all I knew and did not know of their relationship- which is nothing since the whore never called our house, ever called the business, and was never introduced to me despite the innocence of their relationship. I am sure that when he sees what I know and combines it with what he knows, the conclusion will be unmistakable. His wife and my husband are liars and cheaters.<P>I will not protect this savage who called himself my husband with my silence anymore.<P>Don't get me wrong. I would discourage anyone interested in revenge to go blabbing a list of their wounds to the general public. I don't think this kind of thing should be done for attention or sympathy or punishment. My motivation is liberation and closure. I do not want to be stuck in a cycle of abusive relationships and I am ending this NOW! <P>As for the OW's H, I wish to God someone had told me a year ago, two years ago, three years ago! The truth will hurt, I am sure, but I've been treated for an STD. He needs to be told. I will no longer let them influence or destroy my life. I will not keep their secrets for reasons of embarassment or modesty.<P>If anyone has a different way of seeing it, I"d appreciate some feedback. Make it quick though because this nice little packet of bombshell information is about ready to explode!
