It has now been 35 days since I gave my husband the letter and since I last spoke to him. I have my down days, but so far have been able to keep busy and prevent the downs from getting out of hand. Mostly, I am doing pretty well. It helps that my parents are in town until after Christmas, and that work is a never ending turmoil... <P>He gets his hair cut by a friend of mine, and has an appointment on Wednesday morning. I talked with my friend a little bit and asked her not to say much if he asks about me - just tell him that I am doing fine. I'm not even sure if he will ask her about me, although she is certain he will.<P>I have gotten a few more "odd" phone calls, but it occurs to me that this is campaign season and that some of the local numbers showing up on my caller ID may be people calling to stump for their candidates or even to remind me to vote. Honestly, I'm glad I don't even have an answering machine - Caller ID is good enough for me.<P>Friends and family are beginning to get impatient with me, I think. They want me to "move on," to "let go," to "give him his divorce." They believe that I am in some kind of denial, I think. I got into a bit of a heated discussion with my mother about this today. "You need to grieve." I asked her why she thinks I haven't been grieving. I think because I am not filled with anger, they think I am not allowing it to "sink in." One friend of mine told me that she doesn't think that my husband EVER loved me the way I love him, and that he is incapable of changing. I had a real hard time swallowing that one, but wrote her a response thanking her for her input - and asked her if she would please tell me what it is that makes her feel that way, asked her to tell me what it was she saw that I never saw. The prevailing thoughts seem to be evenly divided between "nail him to the wall" and "give him his divorce." I think some of you long-term MBer's can "identify" with this. It is very frustrating - and can even, if you are the slightest bit down and doubtful, cause you to second guess your own decisions. I think of my signature quote when I start to feel doubtful about what I am doing. And I remember that I know that when all is said and done, I will be able to look at myself in the mirror and see a strong, beautiful person who did everything she could do to save her marriage - someone who did "the right thing."<P>I have decided that I should respond to the Separation Agreement sent by his lawyer. Since it has now been about 5 weeks since that was sent to me... I will be posting a copy of the letter I have written and want to send. Comments are welcome.<P>So, that's that so far. Nothing much. Except that I'm very disappointed that the Mets lost... <P>Thanks for reading!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Hi Terri-<P>I like your attitude I wish it would rub off on me!<P>It sounds to me that you are doing a great job right now. I am sure your mother and friends who give input think they are looking out for what is best for you and what they don't understand is that MB is sooooooo much help!!<P>The one friend I did have ( besides the one who slept with H) has kind of cooled her time with me since my H told her of his A so I don't have that type of input but be glad you do have the support there-I wish I did.<P>Hang in there and keep up the good front-keeping busy is a good way to stay away from those down days.<P>Hugs and best wishes-<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Not much to say about the marital stuff, but yeah, I'm disappointed about the Mets too. <P>Remember, though, we gave those Skankees a bigger run for their money than any team in the last 3 years.