SKM,<P>Wasn't last weekend your big 5 year anniversary event with your H?<P>How did I go? What were your final plans?<P>Bob

The Big Weekend. . .Dynamo, your memory is too good. . .I thought I could get by without doing an update. But here's a shortened version (yeah, right, ). BTW, it was the five-year anniversary of the day my H proposed - at McDonald's Drive Through. This Thursday will be our 4-year wedding anniversary.<P>Anyway, the day got off to a "rousing" start. We both had the day off from work, so we slept in a bit, then had a shower for two. Normally during the week, I get up at 5:00 am and don't do anything until my first cup of coffee - so my H welcomed the change from the normal routine.<P>We then got our stuff together, and met up with a friend of mine (who recently had a baby)and her H. We had lunch together, talked baby stuff, it was fun. We ended up going to this quaint little town and walked around. We bought fresh bread, cookies, all kinds of stuff. My H and I had separated from the other couple for a few minutes, and he "dragged" me into this flower shop. Mind you, my H is not really the romantic, flower-buying kind of guy, so, when I asked him why we were going into the flower shop, he said "Aw, just come on." So, we were having a really good day, laughing and joking - and he walks right up to the rose section, and there are tons of roses in all different kinds of colors. He told me to pick one out, and I siad that I'd rather him pick one out for me. Well, he picked out the most beautiful red rose. The salesperson asked if we needed assistance, and he said that he would like one rose for his beautiful wife. (By this time, you had to scrap me off of the floor - I was melting ).<P>So, the lady put the rose - not just in clear paper, but she gave me some greenery and stuck it in one of those little water bottles - so that the flower would last through the day. Anyway, it was only one little rose, but I felt like a queen. Every shop we went into, people would remark about the flower and ask if this was a special occasion. I just loved the attention.<P>Anyway, when we were leaving, my friend gave my H and I a bottle of champagne that had a home-made "Virginia is for lovers" sticker on it and wished us a happy anniversary. So, we left and checked into our hotel room. We drank a little champagne, and I told my H that I needed a few minutes to "set up" his gifts. I had planned to give him his treats after the circus, but I could not wait. I tend to be like a little kid at Christmas, I cannot wait to give people their presents.<P>Anyway, I got him a "Do not disturb" goodie basket full of little muffins, manly soaps, massage oils, boxer shorts (I love seeing him in boxers , a polaroid camera and film so that we could take pictures - not necessarily bad ones - just fun ones ; and a bunch of other stuff. I had collected McDonlald's food containers all week, and had most of the stuff in fry bags, happy meal boxes, etc. . .<P>I also had bought 10 balloons and made "gift certificates" for massages, gourmet dinners, etc. . .The coupons were really kind of funny, and I put them in the balloons (red and yellow - the red ones had I love you written on them). Then I blew up the balloons so that he'd have to pop them to get the certificates.<P>Well, after a bottle of champagne, blowing up ten balloons was no easy task - I busted two of them. But tied them on one of the bed posts - did I mention that I reserved a room at the Marriott? Our room was on the 15th floor!!! It was an awesome view!! Particularly with the leaves turning.<P>Anyway, he came back into the room and he went through all of his gifts. Then he gave me a couple of gifts - two unmentionables, and a really nice necklace. Oh, and a couple of CDs - one was love songs by Kenny Rogers. I'm a sap when it comes to love songs - I like to sing along, but I'm usually really off-key - but my H doesn't mind.<P>Anyway, we went to Cirque du Soleil - which is a circus - not with animals, but with acrobats and jugglers - it really was an amazing show. After the show, we had dinner at the hotel - but we had both eaten so much<BR>that pretty much any other activities - besides cuddling - was kind of non-existent. But that was okay - we made up for it the next morning.<P>So, everything went really well. He loved his presents. I asked him what he liked the most - and he said being with me. It was really cool. He asked me what I liked about our "celebration" and I told him that I really liked it when he bought me the flower - because it was totally unexpected - like when he proposed to me at the McDonald's Drive Through.<P>So, it was really good, until, yeah we had to wake up, until I got a little cranky. See, even though I am really trying in recovery, I still get, well, kind of irritable. I tried my darnest not too, and I kept remembering what Just Learning said - "Just be happy." Just be happy. . .I tried, I really did. Sometimes, my H has his way of doing things, and if your way is different, well, he gets this tone. He's not exactly yelling at me, but it kind of treats me like a two-year old and I really resent it.<P>Anyway, we got into a little tiff about lunch - of all things to fight about!!! It was really ridiculous. I wanted to eat at this restaurant across from the hotel, my H wanted to try the same restaurant (it was a chain) but at a different location. To make a long story short, my H got the silent treatment. Poor guy, he really doesn't have a chance when I turn on the charm . He's big on conversation - he cannot physically go one minute without talking - we've tried, believe me. It's kind of a big joke between us - because I can go for hours not talking - not being mad, but just thinking.<P>Anyway, no holds barred - I clam up and he gets a little upset, but he was really pretty cool. Instead of telling me where we were going (I had told him that I just wanted to go home, because I felt like I ruined everything, and that things weren't going like I had expected, yadda, yadda, yadda). Anyway, he let me stew in silence and he ends up taking me to the restaurant where we had dinner the night he proposed. Ice Queen melts.<P>So, it had its good points, it had some - what I thought were low points - but you know what? I had a great weekend. Because I learned that my H and I are not exactly alike (thank God, I would have booted my butt a long time ago), but we really are perfect for each other. And he has the patience of a saint. Sometimes, I really don't know how he does it - put up with me, that is.<P>So, that's the good, the bad, the ugly, and then the good again. The fairy tale did have a good ending - cause we're still together. I guess I still keep learning through this whole thing - even though it's been 6 months - almost 7 - in recovery, you cannot let little things eat away at you until you begin to question how you feel about your S. I guess that's the good thing that came out of this. We both want to minimize the "bad times," by talking things out (yeah, I finally started talking once the nachos arrived for lunch).<P>We ended our "tiff" by watching football, having a few beers, and then going home singing Kenny Rogers' love songs. Not exactly MGM movie material, but it's my life and I like it.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by SKM (edited October 31, 2000).]

SKM,<P>That is the best way to spend time together!<P>When it comes to love, there is something so liberating about getting away from the daily chase and setting a whole weekend aside just for the two of you. It's the thrill of a night on the town X10.<P>You two are obviously guided by a deep caring and commitment to one another.<P>Congratulations!<P>Bob

SKM,<P>It sounds like a truely fine weekend. <P>Oh! By the way, you didn't act like a "two year old" did you? <P>Seriously, SKM if you know your H "gets this tone" learn to deal with it. It will pass just as all other things do. He does love you, you know. <P>As usual you did very well SKM.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

Dynamo - Thanks for your reply. We really did have a good time. I've never stayed at a hotel on the 15th floor - the top floor. It was like I was queen of this really huge castle! It felt really nice to be with my H and be pampered.<P>Just Learning - I don't know what you mean - ME? Act like a two year old? Besides throwing temper tantrums, saying "no" to everything, and giving him the silent treatment - at least I didn't try to hold my breath until I turned blue! Hehe, believe it or not, I actually tried that one time - didn't work and I had a horrible headache!! His "tone" is something we talk about every now and then. At least now, we can kind of laugh about it. Before, I would just sit and stew about things - or worse - treat him the same way. If that's his only fault, I think I can live with it. Heck he can have a hundred faults and I'd still like to live with him and love him forever. He's great. Right now, he's fixing dinner and handing out candy. . .He has candy duty for halloween since I carved the pumpkins and had my hands elbow deep in pumpkin goo!!!<P>OOOO <P>Thanks for the encouragement - yes, I did melt quite a few times this weekend and it felt great. I need to work on my singing, but I think I can do that "through the years" I'll try to look for your other posts. I'm sure I read them, but probably didn't have time to respond. But, I'll look for them now.

SKM,<P>Just wanted to say that I'm really happy to hear that you had a wonderful weekend (with just the few bumps). You have helped me alot with your detailed responses and tremendous insight and wisdom. I hope your husband knows just how much you have given to the people on MB, because he can be proud of you. Congratulations on your anniversary.

Rick37<P>Thanks for your kind words. I really like it when anyone says that they are proud of me - especially my H. It really gives me a boost. Your words really touched me and gave me some much needed encouragement. Thanks.