You don't know me but I'd like very much to express my heartfelt sorrow for the confusion you are going thru. It's causing you to make one of the worst mistakes you will ever make in your lifetime. <P>At this moment you have a woman who is apparently meeting some deep seated need and who--except for a few conditional <I>demands</I>--you probably feel is your soulmate. If that is true, how much happiness are you feeling at this very moment?<P>Also at this moment there is a woman who has been nothing but true and good and who has loved you as no one else in your lifetime will love you. She may never tell you this but the pain you are causing her as I write this is ripping her to shreds. <P>People here on this forum have gotten to know your wife very well. There is no one here who doesn't love, respect and admire her. She is without equal. She is a GOOD WOMAN. <P>I don't know the woman you have got waiting for you when you go home tonight. The only think I know about her is that she has very little integrity to see a married man and go after him because it is what she wants and to hell with what anyone else wants and damn the consequences. Lana is selfish. And she doesn't have a fraction of the goodness in her heart that Jo does. Is this what you really want for the rest of your life?<P>What will happen when Lana once again thinks the grass is greener on the other side and wants it for her own? <P>May God bless you, Jo's husband, and may he open your eyes and give you strength to pull yourself out of this deep pit you've jumped into. <P>And always remember there are loving and helping hands just waiting to help pull you out...<P>Aloha,<P>Leilana<BR> <P>

I would like to add something to this. <P>Love is supposed to be unconditional. It's not "I will love you and express my love to you only IF you divorce your wife." Jo loves you, unconditionally, and accepts you for the human being that you are. Many people die having never experienced that wonderful gift. <P>You are blessed to have 2 sons. But sometimes, living with the mother is not necessarily best for the child. Does the mother of your other son pressure you about your marriage? Being married to another woman does not make you any less of a father. I'm sure that Jo loves those boys and would be a wonderful stepmom to them - after all, they're a part of you.<P>You need to search your heart and figure out what really makes you happy. Do not let ANYBODY force you to make a decision that you may later regret. Don't let guilt, on either side, be a factor. This is about you. Make this decision with your eyes open.<P>"Love is a gift, NOT an obligation." -- Salma Hayek