<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>You are a very introspective person, and I'll bet you have a very analytical mind. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I've been called worse things. Just kidding.

Way to go, fs! <P>I began posting to you this morning when I got off duty but cleared my field when Peppermint seemed to move on to a higher level (based on her "EUREKA" post). Kind of negated the need. <P>And then you go and pull a stunt like this. <P>The way you "fillet" yourself here is quite awesome. I suppose you have already done so privately with Peppermint. I'm hoping and praying that it is getting easier for you to do so. I know that telling her the things she needs to know is like walking thru fire. But that beautiful and wonderful wife of yours loves you so much. Who else would be worth walking thru fire for?<BR> <BR>You probably know by now that she's presently saying she needs the reassurance of knowing you are honest with her in your every day actions and behaviors and thoughts. Your 2nd fall from grace (I'm sorry--that hurt, I know) kind of underscores, highlights, boldfaces and attaches flashing neon lights to that need.<P> It's the same for me as well. Without it I feel like I'm being abused by neglect or am being used. Without it, I'm out the door. I'm not exaggerating. It's <B>that</B> important.<P>No 2nd fall from grace but ex-OP still works in the same building as my H. My H comes home and gives me details "ad nauseum" about any sort of contact or happenings that occured thru out his workday--without me asking. Do you know that I've gotten to the point that I haven't cared whenever she did try to pull something? Just the fact that my H is sitting there with me, or hugging me or holding my hand, as he's telling me or showing me something--rolling his eyes or finding some humor in the situation--or irritation with her persistance--that's the "current" reassurance that I receive. That's when I know my best friend is talking to me. That's the person I trust my heart to again. <P>It's gotten to the point where sometimes <B>I</B> change the subject because frankly, sometimes I'm bored by it (when my honesty need has been saturated). Sometimes I playfully try to distract him from whatever he's saying. Honesty and Openness used to be #1 on my top 5. It's being met so well now, I think I've got a new #1 now.<P>Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could meet that need for Peppermint so much that one day, when you're trying to prove your love for her by telling her a truth, she interrupts you and says, "Oh, honey, that's nice. But how 'bout them Yankees, huh?!" <P> <P>L<BR>

Dear FS:<P>Thank you! <P>Thank you for having the courage to face yourself. Thank you for giving Peppermint her first taste of "peace".<P>Chin up! No need to *hate* yourself. Hate is such a STRONG, unfriendly word. Besides, you MUST remember, it's<B> NOT YOU</B> that was *ugly*...it was your behavior. <B>YOUR PERSON IS BEAUTIFUL and capable of beautiful actions!</B><P>Peace, ~Marie<P> <P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown