My wifes affair started in March and I found out about it in July. We lived togheter for another two months before she decided to move out. We have to little boys who are going from one place to the other. My wife tried several times to break up this relationsship but still thinks it could be the perfect man for her (Fantasy guy)and everything would be wonderful. We had a verg good marriage at the beginning which suffered with the birth of our second boy (we lost the communication). I still would like to rebuilt our marriage. My wife doesn't really know what she wants - she messed up.<P>Question: If she decided to start working on our relationship would it be best to move back together or should she stay in her. After reading some of the columns about depositing love units it would make sense to move togheter otherwise it is kind of hard to accomplish this. <P>Look forward to some answers.<P>

I agree with you that you can rebuild the bonds and deposit the love units much better if you are under the same roof.<P>And if she is still in the "fog" about this guy, she will need all the help she can get to avoid contacting him.<P>Be careful before inviting her back in that she will completely break off contact (preferably with a formal no contact letter). If not, you will be setting yourself up for a lot of pain. Actual recovery cannot begin until contact is broken.