I am going away with husband and family for a few days. Things are HORRIBLE. We sleep in seperate beds, act like we hate each other and actually I think i am really starting to hate him. I have no sexual desire for him and just being around him upsets me. I am so low and depressed over this. I want to leave but have no place to go. We both took our wedding bands off and i am starting to become aware that this man really does not love me. So why am I going on this trip? He treats me like crap and we only speak when it is about the kids. I said i was not going to go on this little trip with him and his family, but I don't want to be stuck at home by myself driving myself crazy worrying about what is to happen next. I WANT SOME FUN! I feel emotionally beaten up on and I just want a few days of fun even if it is a fantasy! I know this weekend will be the defining moment of whether to proceed with a divorce or to wait a little longer. It's as almost as if I am afraid to go because i don't want anymore CLUES of AWARENESS that his heart is elsewhere and then I know I will have to let go. PLEASE ADVISE, i have to leave in an hour for the plane.

If you think this is going to be a defining moment in which way the marriage is going to go, then go, and turn it the way you want things to go.<P>Have a blast. Put this to the back of your mind, yeah I know impossible, and enjoy the trip.

I agree...<P>GO ON THE TRIP...<P>Pure your Plan A efforts on him as much as possible...<P>...and if when you get back, there is no sign...<P>...start considering a Plan B.<P> <P>Jim

NSR, i am sooo glad you responded, but i am truly ashamed to say. I CAN'T DO A PLAN A anymore! I am so emotionally drained and feel so foolish for even being on this site since this is a MarriageBUILDER site. I feel like their is nothing left to build. All i have is hate, resentment and sadness for him. I am so disappointed in myself, in him in love in dreams. I don't feel i can give him ME anymore. I'm just bushed!

TTF, I know how exhausted you feel. I feel like I am being drug along beside a moving car....with the three kids hanging on my feet.<P>Try to wrap plan A around you like a warm blanket. In other words...make it about you and who you are. It will help you detach from the feelings of hate and resentment which are only going to effect you anyway.<P>I agree with NSR's advice. go and then regroup.