I am wondering if anyone can guess what will happen next?<P>Here is my story. My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years, together for a total of 9. Last February he left me claiming that he fell out of love with me. It was for another woman. Since last February we have not gone more than 2 weeks without talking to each other. He moved back once for a weekend, then for the month of June and in September for 5 weeks and left again. Every time he goes back to the other woman to live with her. He filed for divorce but cancelled it in September when he moved back home. When he left a few weeks ago, he stated he wanted a divorce again. At this point, I am too tired to deal with this anymore. I signed a joint petition for divorce and now he has it to do with as he pleases. He originally thought I was going to file it but I told him that I changed my mind and just didn't have it in me because as bad as this past year has been I still have hope and I don't want a divorce. On the other hand, I am not going to stand in his way. All through out this, even when he has left he has told me that he still loves me enormously and I will always have a special place in his heart. He just doesn't want to work on the marriage anymore, he wants to be with her. So I am trying to figure out what is best for myself right now because I am convinced that I haven't heard the last from him. I am trying to figure out what I will do if I do hear from him. I'm wondering what you all predict for this, especially males who have done the same. Do you think I have heard the last from him?

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. What you have gone through is difficult beyond words. I don't know if you are new to this site, but just in case you are, the first thing would be to read as much as you can. Especially about affairs, Emotional Needs (EN), Love Busters (LB), and Plan A.<P>Something is wrong in your marriage for this to happen. The best thing for you is to make sure you are doing a good Plan A, which means fulfilling whatever his ENs are, and not doing any LBs. Perhaps you know these things already.<P>I'd strongly suggest buying these books: Surviving An Affair (SAA) from this website, His Needs/Her Needs (this website), and Divorce Busters (any book seller like Amazon.com).<P>You are probably right that you haven't heard the last of him. But a good Plan A will help you if you want to continue to work on saving your marriage. It might be difficult given the lack of communication you have with him, but you can always do things from a distance like that. And for sure, if he comes home again, make sure you are doing a good Plan A, which isn't to say that you haven't in the past.<P>Do you have any kids? Have you been looking around this website much? Did you two ever go to any counselling? One sure thing is that you are not alone, and this kind of situation is all too common.<P>If you are checking here this weekend, if you don't already know, weekends are much slower, and you get less responses. Monday AM it picks up alot, so you'll hear more then. but post as much as you want because it helps alot.<P>Good luck.<P><BR>

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