Has anyone ever gome to the extent of tapping the phone. After a year and two D-days(last one about six weeks ago)my W says that she has cut off all contact. Is it just me or does the whole openness and honesty thing seem even harder.<P>I've heard the words I love you once since the second D-day. Is it for real this time or just another line. I'm very unsure of the way she feels. I thought she was being honest the first time. So how do I know she is now? I've thought about tapping the phone but does that make me any better. I've always been a trust worthy person but the huts is so intence sometimes. I put caller ID in just to find out that she was clearing out the numbers when he would call. That was a waist of money.<P>I know that I could possibly end up hearing something that I don't want to hear but the insecurities I live with now are unbelieveable. Most of the time it seems like her heart just isn't into it. I just want to trust again and I'm working on it. With so much mistrust and the resentment especially towards OM (my ex-bestfriend). I just don't trust anyone. Is what I'm thinking about doing a mistake or what?

I've been recording my wife's phone calls since the end of May. You will probably hear things that are very hurtful to you I know that I did. At times, I was ready to throw her out because of some of the lies she told her mother about me and how much she missed her "friend". It also helped me by letting me know how much progress I was making also. She hasn't said anything about him since mid August. Also it wasn't brought up to the person that she was to have contact him. The OM changed his phone # so she could not call him. The one thing I will say is you will be up or down according to what you hear. If I had it to do over I would still have done it. I'm still monitoring to see how things are. Since there's no talk about me any more I have not been as worried about checking it as closely. You have to be careful with what you say because you might reveal yourself.

be very carful. That is how i caught my wife . I am only 2 weeks from d-day. I had recorders in her car in the house and tapped the phone lines. You need to install a phone jack in the attic. (if you are not experienced have a professional do it or you will cut your phone line and she will catch you) put the caller id there - they also have incoming caller id. the best thing to do is get a recorder with caller id and date and time stamping. go to a spy shop and they can set you up with the right equipment. spend the $ you can resell it on e-bay. <P>Get ready to hear things. I monitored my wife for 3 weeks to get all the info I needed. I still haven't lisened to all of it just a few min. I couldn't bear it. I used info I gathered to follow them and caught them.

<BR>I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I thought my W was still in contact with OM. My problems are that 1) she's smart enough now to avoid using the computer and phone at home and 2) the kids do so much yakking on the phone that there's no way I could hope to tape anything but the kids.<P>If you can tape the phone calls and avoid revealing what you've found out, then do it. If you can't keep it to yourself, then don't do it. You'll just teach her how to avoid being caught next time.<P><BR>