There was a recent post on this in the "In Recovery" forum, but it didn't get many replies, so I thought I'd post it here also.<P>My H has finally decided that he will go back to counseling (yeah!!!). I have suggested phone counseling with the Harleys, as I am a very strong believer on their methods. He is somewhat reluctant, as he is not sure of the effectiveness of phone counseling vs face to face.<P>Any of you that have counseled with them---could you give me your feedback??? I'd really appreciate it!!!!

Hi,<P>My husband and I are counseling with Steve Harley right now. We have had one joint session and each of us has had an individual session. My husband (firestorm) is the betrayer. He has another individual session scheduled this week, then we begin joint sessions next week.<P>It is very helpful so far, much more than the face-to-face counselor we went to after the first discovery. I highly recommend it.<P>Peppermint

I've had two individual sessions with Jennifer, and she is really good. She helps you develop a plan to restore your marriage. The one thing I really liked was that she helps you move on - she doesn't dwell on why your marriage is in the situation that it's in. If I wasn't financially strapped, I would definitely do it on a regular basis. But I do schedule appointments whenever I can.

I've said it often, but Jennifer is a big part of the reason we are here today. I was surprised that my h was actually more comfortable counselling with a female. She could tell him the same thing that I would and he would believe it. Huh?<P>She mostly took turns talking to us separately until further down. Then, it helped to have a speaker phone.<P>As to phone instead of face to face, in a way it was more "anonymous" and we didn't have to worry about the sitter not making it, so it was easier to stick with it from a logistical view.<P>She really helped us to put into practice the four rules until we could roll with it on our own. She did not do much to help in my personal healing - I'm working on that now with a counsellor here.<P>It is well worth the time and money. Steve or Jennifer serve as a coach and external control. (You have to send in your plan to meet each other's needs - no cheating.)

<BR>Another positive vote for Jennifer. She's helped me a great deal, though I agree that she focuses on marital behaviors. If you've got personal issues you probably ought to find somebody local.