Rick,<P>I have been off the board for a bit, and have spent some time recently just lurking. <P>How are things going? <P>Bob

Yea Rick - how 'bout an update? No news from me.<P>WAT

Rick,<P>Was wondering if ya'll told your kids & how they were doing?

You are all amazing. I haven't posted for a few days, and suddenly I see you asking how things are going. What a surprise for me to see. It is much appreciated.<P>Dynamo - I didn't see you around recently, so was wondering about you as well.<P>WAT - I'm wondering how your trip was on the weekend. I hope you had fun. Any news on it?<P>sing - Actually, they haven't been told yet. See below for general news.<P>We haven't told the kids yet about this separation. I don't think I updated, but she suddenly announced that she was going to tell them this past weekend, and I said NO WAY. Had a 2 minute exchange of words (very abrasive, but I wasn't backing down on this one), and the end result was for once I held my ground and said it simply isn't happening till I return from a business trip. So supposedly next weekend now. Not looking forward to it.<P>Then Sunday I got an "I miss you", and a hug and kiss. However, like always, it is roller coaster. Monday and Tuesday were all business like. Just blunt and cold for the most part. And today I left on a trip, and no reaction whatsoever. Didn't come to the door. That kind of hurts, but I can't think about it too much. I've realized that this is probably a long road, so need to hang in there and accept the bumps.<P>Sometimes I think I don't get it, but then I think - she was in love with this goof, and that won't go away fast, even if it ends, so I guess I can't expect too much till withdrawal takes place. I suppose when someone else is at the forefront of her mind, I'm at the back of it for the most part, so it will take time for me to get to the front again, if ever. But I think there is a good chance. I keep wanting it to clear up fast, but I guess that is too much to expect. Deep down inside I know it will just take time. I presume I'm thinking correctly?<P>Thanks again for asking. Not really much new as you can see. I'm sure I'll have some further developments in the next couple of weeks. I've met three women recently that I'd date if I we're single, and given the fact that I'm rather lonely now, there is a temptation. But dont' worry, I know it wouldn't be fair to them, myself, my kids, my wife (oddly enough), or anyone. So I have no intention of going on any dates. I told my wife this too (just that I won't date while I'm married). She seemed surprised.<P>Hope you are all doing well despite the circumstances.

Hi Rick,<P>I have taken a little break from MB. Although I have come to rely on this site to carry me through rough times, lately I have felt I needed a break.<P>Overall, things are going better between my W and I...she has made a complete break from the OM and is committed to our marriage. Now my difficutly is dealing with the anger aftermath from this. I was surprised to feel this way...I should be happy my W is back..and I am. But recently anger was triggered, mainly for the OM, but also how I was deceived, played for a fool, betrayed, etc.. When I express the anger it is a big turn off for my W, even though it is mostly focused on the OM. I know, I am LBing...but d**n it, sometimes it just can't be helped. I admit it is not pleasant being around someone angry all the time, even if it is directed at someone else.<P>Another tough one right now is the need to get something in return...love, affection, SF, and security. Like you and many here, we wind up giving and giving and giving while our own needs go unmet. That is suddenly frustrating too, making me impatient.<P>The last two weeks have been especially hard, but thankfully I feel another break coming as my anger level has come down a bit and my W is responding positively. I am coming to believe this is just another stage in processing this whole mess.<P>We are about to take a week-long trip with the children to Disneyland and other fun places in LA, so I hope that the focus of us as a family will bring more progress. <P>I have learned that each step of recovery has its unexpected traps to navigate through....when you think you are out of the woods, something else comes up! ARRRGGGHH!<P>Your situation still sounds up and down. Has your W mentioned the lonelyness of being on her own without you to take care of her? Is there any signs that the quality of the A is cracking?<P>I wish you well...<P>Bob

Bob,<P>Thanks for the update. I hope that your trip turns out to be great for all of you.<P>My wife started mentioning being lonely within 2 days of being alone. Also said she missed me, but nevertheless, she has entered a rather cold spell now. Seems to do that every few days. Could be a long spell, who knows.<P>She'll say she is happy to other people, but they say she doesn't look good and seems very unhappy. Always looks tired, is cranky, and just not herself (understatement).<P>Oh well, all I can do is watch.<P>Have a nice trip.<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited November 17, 2000).]