Hi all-<P>Last time I was here I was bawling like a baby-at the end of my rope and feeling as though I wanted to end my life. So many of you took the time to reply to my outburst and said all you could to help me get through yet another bleak day.<P>I came to MB in June or July of 1999. I do not think I would ever have made it through the first months of losing my life as I had known it had it not been for you wonderful caring people here. I owe you all so much-thank you just isn't enough.<P>My last 17 months have been really rough. But about two weeks ago the OW made an attempt to apologize to me-one more time. This OW was my best friend. A lot of my depression has been becasue I missed her so much. I had to wonder time and again if she really even liked me.<P>Well-she wrote me and I wrote back and it was as if the whole world was lifted from my shoulders.<P>We have written back and forth for msot of the last two weeks. It hasn't all been smooth sailing but we both have discovered feelings that we didn't know went so deep.<P>I am going to leave MB. I love it here. But at the same time it depresses me to read the posts that show such intense pain and suffering. I relive every day since June 1999. I want to heal. I want to try to move forward.<P>I wish you all the very best-forever and always.<P>You are wonderful!<P>Thank you<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Thanks for your post to me I wish you the very best of luck my prayers are with you. May God grant you the very best.

Hi Heartache:<P>Thank you so much for sharing this time in your life with us. I understand why you feel you need to move on. As they say "Life is for the living" and someday we all have to once again take our place among the living. To do anything else would be to refute that life is worthwhile...no matter how we suffer. Please know that our love and hope for you happiness goes with you.<P>I give you Angels and Prayers all of your life - Faye <BR>

Heartache<P>I see that you have had two heartaches going into this thing. I understand how hard it is to lose the best friend you have to something beyond your control. My sis-in-law left my bro without even as much as a fair thee well, no attempt was made to save their 3 year marr. She had been my best friend since 4th grade-25 yrs. When she left my bro, she left us ALL without looking back. I only just reconnected with her and spilled my guts about what was going on with me-it turns out she is going through her 2nd divorce right now... She wants to reconstruct our friendship(it has been 5 yrs)It feels strange, but it is right. It has always been right. <P>I have just been waiting for her to forgive herself for disconnecting from me in the first place! We were blood-sisters when we were kids...I let her go in my heart so she could come back without bitterness on my part. It was the first time I had to do that. <P>I am in practice now for my H. I am trying to emotionally let go of him so when he is ready to save our marriage, I will not hold a grudge and can still be open to love. My boundries are in place and the rest is up to him. With his first boundry test, he chose to postpone the OW(physical trist) and remain living in our home. This time.<P>I hope that all goes well in the future with your friend, you and your H. I hope it works out the way you want. I know what you mean about needing to heal on your own away from the stories here. Good luck to you and yours. I will think about you from time to time.

Oh Dear God.<P>Heartache,<P>I am new to this site. I do not know your history, nor have I looked it up. But you have made me weep.<P>My OM's wife was my best friend. I will consider her my best friend for the rest of my life. I realize that relatively recently I have not been a very good friend to her. A pretty rotten one, in fact. I am trying in every way I know how to give her the love and respect that she deserves. Which means saying goodbye and having no contact with her or her H. I am ready to do that forever if that will lessen her hurt and suffering. But, deep down, I have not let go of the hope that someday we can have some sort of a relationship again. I will wait for years if I have to. I just want her to believe that I love her. That I have always loved her. That I am so sorry for hurting her so deeply.<P>Thank you for posting what you did. I gives me a glimmer of hope. I miss her so much. I think she misses me, too.<P>Congratulations on your decision to venture off alone!! Good luck.

Hey! It's me!!<P>I know! I need my butt kicked for not keeping in touch better!! Can you say...HECTIC??? <P>If you need to stay away for you, then by all means, do so! You are finally getting to that point in recovery where things are going the way they should be. But do remember, that you can come back if you need to! <P>Love ya,<BR>Mitzi

Tigger-thanks so much for posting to me when you are so down yourself. Just take it from someone who has been there..............you will heal. The more you work on just YOU the faster you get there. It is a rough road but it can be done. I hope you get there very soon <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Buffy-Wow-thanks for the angels and prayers. I not only need them but I love them! Yes, it is time for me to get back to the land of the living. I have been dead for way too long. My family needs me but most of all I need me. I also wish you the best!<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Burnedspouse,<P>I can only imagine your pain. I think to lose not only a friend but a sister-in-law would be an even worse situation than what I have gone through.<P>I am very lucky. H has been by my side the entire time. He and the OW both know how wrong they were and they both regret their mistake and admit it was just that-a big mistake!<P>I greatly admire your willingness to let go of them both in the proper way and to know that there will be room in your heart when they are ready to return!<P>Best of luck forever!<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Justhere,<P>Oh my gosh. And you sound jsut like the OW in my situation. I was so moved by your post that I sent a copy of my good bye and a copy of your reply to the OW. Even she said it sounded as though she had written it herself.<P>I wish I were brave enough to ask you whatever motivated you to have an A with your best friends H. It makes me so sad. But I am almost afraid of the answer-I can't take any more hurts.<P>My H worships the ground I walk on. I am and always have been spoiled rotten. He helps with all the household things and is an extremely hard worker. All this besides being very good looking. Or course I try to spoil him rotten too. But I ahve to just try and believe my friend liked the same things I like about my H and that is why they did what they did .................<P>Never give up hope! But expect any forgiveness to take a very long time coming. I tried to forgive to early and I just couldn't do it. If your friend misses you as much as I have missed mine she will maybe one day contact you or you can contact her.<P>While you are waiting I hope you learn to work on what is inside of you that made you have an affair.<P>I will add you to the prayers I make.<P>Hope you get through this as quickly as possible. If you need to contact me just holler-I always want to help!<P> <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

And Mitzi..........................<P>Can you say Washington State? LOL-I am still waiting.<P>Thanks for all the help you have given me. You have such a level head on your shoulders! I think you are one of the few people that has been here and yet remained positive throughout it all.<P>I will come back from time to time I am sure. It will be hard to leave. But my goal now is to wean from my meds and get back into the groove of being happy!<P>I thank you kindly for taking time to come here and reply to my good bye. It means a lot you know!<P>Is your D final YET? If not I will be out there talking to a judge like fast!!!!<P>Hugs my friend-<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Dear Heartache,<P>May God bless you and restore your marriage and make you whole again.<P>May you pray for hedges of protection around your H and marriage so that no lover get to him and vice versa.<P>My best wishes to your future. Love yourself, treasure life.<P>Love<BR>weep

Weep,<P>Thank you so veyr much for your kind words! I am sure we will be OK from here on out. H and I both want to spend many years together and watch our children grow and have children of their own.<P>I will pray for those hedges :-)<P>Thank you,<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."