Dear Lostva,<P>Your story has always been an imspiration to me.Do you remember my story?H had an internet affair with OW.Currently he is living with OW and OC,s.We are in the middle of a divorce,all his initiative.You have responded to my H when he was posting under<BR>Bethn.(Unfortuneately he did not take your advice,and brought OW to a play my son was in ,to meet OW for the first time,even tho son had told H he didnt want to meet her.)<P> Anyways,I had been e-mailing H newsy letters about sons,and a birth in my side of the family,mostly tho about sons grades.(Younger son got 4 f's,1 c,and 1 d).I tried to email H last nite and found out he has blocked me.I was really hurt,I did not expect him to respond,bit didnt expect him to block email.<P> BTW H rewarded son for his grades by giving 10.00 dollars,does that make any sense?<P> Love and Prayers,Beth

I do remember you, Beth and I'm so sorry things keep going in this direction.<P>You know, I will never understand what goes through our spouses heads, or doesn't, when they're tied up with this stuff.<P>I'm sorry he felt it necessary to bring your son into the relationship as he did.....even my ex didn't do that and he was pretty much morally bankrupt! But he DID keep Kristin's best interests in mind over his own selfish desires most of the time.<P>The money is understandable. A sad substitution for being a real part of his life. Sometimes that's all they're capable of. <P>BTW, how are YOU doing? You didn't say much here about that. <P>He blocked your e-mails because they hurt him, I'd be willing to bet and Robert says so too. That's why he ignored us so much, or didn't open my letters from time to time, because it was easier not to. ORRRRRRR...she could have done it or made him do it. Remember when PT used to come home at lunch to steal my letters out of the mailbox so Robert never got them?????? They're insecure, and for very good reason.<P>Oh, back to my question...how are you doing?<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

Lori,<BR>Thanks for asking about me.How I am I doing,I really had to stop and think about that.I still have my sad moments,at times.<BR>My faith in God has become stronger,my parents could not remove the emotional pain I felt,neither could my children,or friends.<BR>I realized thatI had no control over what was happening to me,and I asked God to help me.<BR> I have learned to become independent,taking over jobs that were my H's.Taking care of the car,getting things repaired such as lawnmower,pool timer,paying the bills ect.<BR> I continue to try to meet H's emotional needs,even tho he is not here.I know that sounds silly, but these are things I needed to improve on anyways.Domestic support, and improving physical attractiveness,and fitness.<BR> Anyways enough of me.Werent trying to quit smoking?How is it going?Tell Robert thank you for his input,I always appreciate hearing from spouse,they can give us so much insight into what is going on in WS's head.<BR>Thanks from all of us Lori, as you continue to give the most precious gift someone can give,their time, support,and advice.<BR>Love and Prayers,Beth

No cigs since 9/11!!!!!!!<P>Yayyyyy for Lori! Actually, it's not too bad now. Good thing. My family was ready to throw me into the creek!<P>Glad to hear you're continuing to grow....you have so many wonderful things ahead of you...I can just feel it.<P>And thank you for your encouragement. I come back here, when I come back, just to help, but I know my views aren't shared by a lot of people and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be talking so much!! That's hard for me.<P>Take care, Sweetie. Keep getting stronger and stronger.<P>Lori

Lori,<BR>Good for you,August 11th!That is great!(I cant go one day without my addiction,sugar.)<BR> <BR> As long as you are willing and able to,I hope you will keep on responding to us.Your story's outcome is what we dream of and wish for.You and Robert are an inspiration.Thanks again.<BR> Love and Prayers,Beth

Lori,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>but I know my views aren't shared by a lot of people and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be talking so much!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Huh? I haven't picked up on that at all? I like to check in whenever you write. Leaving for S. America tonight, so won't be back for a few days.

Lori,<P>Keep talking, Lori. You are an inspiration, especially to those of us who know our real H's are in there, somewhere.<P>