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Letting go of their experiences
#893554 11/16/00 01:13 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 7
Chatt., TN USA
M
mis
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mis
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M Offline
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 7
Chatt., TN USA
Been 3 mos. since discovery...alot of details and info involved. Last night for the first time in weeks, H and I slept in same bed. He rolled over and started holding me and I jumped out of bed sick to my stomach...had he held his MOW this way? He use to hold me all night long, did he hold her like that too? The mental images are becoming overwhelming...I don't want what he took to her...does this ever go away?
Re: Letting go of their experiences
#893555 11/16/00 01:55 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 8
INDIANA, USA
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Respect2u2 Offline
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Respect2u2
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R Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 8
INDIANA, USA
mis,<P>It's only been a few weeks since I found out about the A but a few months since W told me she had feelings for someone else. <P>The images do pop back in my head sometimes right out of the blue with no rhyme or reason but they have lessened in frequency.<P>It took a few weeks for her to want to make love. I wanted to shortly after, wanted to get things back to "normal". Don't know if that is a male thing or not or just a general reaction. <P>Others may tell you differently but I think you shouldn't think about what he did with the MOW and focus that he wants to be with you and continue to rebuild your marriage.<P>Take Care!
Re: Letting go of their experiences
#893556 11/16/00 12:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
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PamO Offline
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PamO
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Posts: 183
Yes, it goes away. It takes time. The time it takes is different for everyone.<P>I don't know your story, so I don't know how long or involved the A was or how it ended. I can tell you for me it ended when I decided to reclaim what was mine. Even if he did hold her, he's with YOU. If this is something the two of you used to do, and you enjoyed it, take it back as YOURS. Do not give the OW that power in your marriage.<P>Have you reached the point in your marriage rebuilding where there are shows of affection in other areas than in bed? If not, maybe it will make it easier for you if they start first. <P>Give it time. It gets better.

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