Haven't seen you around much...

Well thanks for asking CP <P>Like most of us here I am surviving. Floundering a bit I guess. Don't know what exactly to do now.<P>I actually got to meet an MB'er this week, CJack...he saw how down I was and let me know where his radio station was doing a promotion Monday night, and I went and met him. He is a sweet guy...even bought me and son dinner. I hope things work out with him and his wife...<P>Also, I talked to Jo(Resilent) on the phone which was great. I am a bit more confused now than I was...I want to ditch the whole damn mess, but Jo wants me to hang in there for a bit. She is a wonderful person...sounds like a kid...lol.<P>I hang up on my husband whenever he calls...not out of meanness, but I just can't bear to hear his voice. He sent me a note and some money which was nice. This D day is as bad, if not worse than the first one...because I know this woman.<P>I hate setting a depressing tone in my home all the time, so I am trying to look like I"m not depressed. It's kinda hard...kids actually saw me breaking dishes the other nite...gulp. Felt good, but should have been a private moment.<P>Gotta run the kids around so I'd better go, but thanks so much CP for checking on me. I would be completley nutso if it were not for all of you.<P>I will start replying more when I feel I can offer others the hope needed to continue on. I've just kinda felt lately like it was all for nothing.<P>allison

This is a completley stupid question...but does anyone think I should send a Plan B letter?<P>Plan B means that I still have some hope left, and to tell the truth, I don't think I'd take him back now anyway. Believe me, he does not want me back. But, he does want badly to communicate with me...about how I am, how the kids are...<P>He saw what I did to the garage yesterday (kicked the hell out of it) and walked in and asked the kids what happened...they told him. He shook his head and said "I guess I can't blame her"<P>Guess you knew I couldn't just type a little post like above huh....<P>Thanks guys. allison

You know I think you should do what is going to make you feel better. If writing a letter will help bridge you and your husband so you can at least communicate then I say do it. If you down deep know that it is over, even if he were to come home and beg for eternal forgiveness then I would say you know it may be time to write the mean letter, vent all your anger and then burn it or if you have to send it, you can send it to me in e-mail. <P>It's tough I know. I am right there with you. I feel the pain too and I want you to know that you are not alone...despite what it feels. Is he still at your house? I can't remember.

allison,<P>write the letters. you don't have to send them or send to cpickle or me. Personally I found writing them & tearning them into tiny piceics helps me. I even written a few to the OS(slut), burned a few of those. If you don't think you are quite ready to close the door a Plan B letter might be good, not having contact with you might wake your H up, but who knows. your in prayers.