My question is how do you handle finances when only one spouse works?<P>I ask because up until almost 4 years ago, we both worked full-time. I quit my last full-time job in 1997 due to burnout from relocation and demands of new job, to pursue graduate school and to change careers. During that time, I have worked a temp job off and on to have my own money since also during that time, my H began to use the "MY MONEY" thing against me.<P>We always had joint accounts and I handled the bills. He has always been somewhat "impulsive" w/money, but never really noticed to what extent until my income went away and we didn't have the extra to cover his extraneous spending. We have had to change our lifestyle to accomodate the loss of my income and I have not had a problem w/making the sacrifices. But I have heard the "it's my money" line one too many times. I began working the temp job to insure that I would never again be subject to not having something of my own. I have used this money to help w/the extras that we would normally have to sacrifice or to help w/bills when necessary. He doesn't know any of this because I handle all of the bills.<P>The other day, he was upset about something else, and asked me about a purchase I made. (A camera that he told me to buy for myself) I told him he suggested that I buy it but if the money was a problem, I had my own to reimburse him. He was appalled to learn that I had my own money. <P>Now he thinks that I have been "stealing" money from our joint account (which I have not) I reminded him that I have worked over the last year or two. He wants to check my statements to verify (which is ok because I have nothing to hide; all deposits are payroll)<P>He also states that I have not helped w/the bills (which I have but he doesn't know because I handle the bills) <P>We were married for 15 years before I ever had my own separate account and I did this because of the "my money" thing HE used against ME. He has had a separate account for 5 years to handle his work and rental property banking (which I do not get to touch or reap the benefits of) I feel like he is using his "breadwinner" status as power over me.<P>Any thoughts would be appreciated<P>God Bless,<BR>Enlightened

Don't have anything that will help sorry..<BR>I got the "MY MONEY" line for the past eight years of being a stay home home..and I wrote out all the bill's cause H was gone all the time.he worked out of town and had a subsistance from his company..when he would spend all that on whatever he wanted he'd call me asking for money out of the household account since it was "HIS MONEY" he deserved it..and I should give it to him whenever he asked..didn't matter the bills didn't get paid as long as he had money for his beer..<BR>So I don't know what to tell you..wish I had some words of advice..we seperated and I went back to work recently..and now he's upset says I have more money than him now since I have the child support plus MY income to pay the bills..but when we seperated..I got ALL of the BILLS plus got stuck paying a loan he took out from his work..they took it from the child support he was paying direct deposit..and he's upset I want to go through the courts to set up child support..

ThornedRose:<P>Thanks for sharing your story. <P>I know there are couples who agree to separate accounts upon marrying and may also keep a joint account. I take offense when my H uses the "my money" because we had always been ours than suddenly it became mine/yours. Still not sure why he decided to draw that line.<P>God Bless,<BR>Enlightened<p>[This message has been edited by Enlightened (edited November 18, 2000).]