I recently found out that my husband has been having an affair with one of his employees for the past year and a half. I want to work on my marriage but am having trouble moving forward because they are still together everyday at work. He is a partner and says that if he left his firm this close to tax season they would be devastated. I confronted her in her office on my last visit and asked her to leave. At that time she said she would look for another job. However, I called her last week to check her progress and she told me that she was going to stay for at least 6 more months to get enough hours for her CPA license. How am I supposed to put this behind me and focus on my marriage when all I can think about is the two of them together at work everyday? I feel like my husband is protecting her. I know they still have feelings for each other. Help!

nochoice<P>I can only imagine how dificult this is for you. My h had an affair with a co-worker that he had to report to daily (they live 1000 miles away but were able to begin and carry on an EA for six months despite the distance). It was difficult enough for me to deal with havin him reporting to her so far away. <P>I will say that others have dealt with this and been able to move on. Although I can't say that I am completely comfortable with him working with her still it has gotten easier to deal with. Most of this has to do with how my H has been since the affair ended ( the affair went on for about 5 months after d-day). He has reassured me time and time again in many different ways that there is nothing there, that he regrets the affair and the pain it caused me and our family. He has said that she isn't worth the pain that was caused and he can't see any situation in the future that would cause him to do it again (with her or anybody else).<BR> <BR>Let me just say again that with help from your H it does get easier with time. Let him help you through this.

NoChoice,<P>I really don't have anything to add. Patient Love (I love that name) said it best. If you're H is doing all he can, let him get you through this. Be open and honest about your feelings. Last night I broke down to my H and told him I didn't think I could go on with the pain. We had a great conversation after that and today I feel so much better. Yesterday I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could to escape!<P>Take a deep breath!<P>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE<P>God Bless!

Welcome <B>nochoice</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>It is so hard... when then affair is really in your face...<P>But we do recommend that you start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>...check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> too.<P>Be honest with him...<BR>...let him know that your love (units) is (are) dropping...<P> <P>Jim