Hi,<BR>I don't know if anyone remembers me but earlier this summer I lived on this site. You guys gave me the best support and I am very thankful for it. For those who don't know I am the betrayed spouse and my W left me. I Plan A'ed her all summer. In August I was out of town on business and was sitting in a hotel room when suddenly I completely healed. After 2 months of torture the light finally went off.<P>I came to the realization that my W was not comming back. When I returned I waited a few days then made an appointment with my therapist. I kept thinking that I'd slip back into the depression. It never happened. After talking with the therapist his advice was "go see your attourney". <P>I sit and think now of the pain and the self healing I had to go through. I can't bear the thought of haveing to rebuild a marriage with my W. It would take years and the trust would take even longer. <P>I look at it like a old car that I had and after years of being comfortable with it it began to have problems. Is it easier to rebuild the old car? Or get a new one, one that I can take the experiences I've learned and love and cherish it and pretty much begin all over again. <P>For me the process has allready started. I began dateing the beginning of October. And while I'm takeing it at a snails pace, I've met someone that is 100 times more my equal than my wife ever was. My new friend sees the world just as I see it. <P>My divorce will be final within the next two weeks. Which is good because I haven't had sex in almost a year, and won't do it at least until I'm legaly free from the X.<P>I may not be a Plan A success story from the prespective of everyone here. I believe I'm a success story, because I don't remember a time when I've been happier. <P>My 7 year old daughter is starting to get more comfortable with the situation and is constantly reassured by my X and I. I know that in time I will be able to build a new relationship with a more compatible person and give my daughter a much more stable enviroment to live. I talk with her about her feeling all the time and she seems genuinely happy now, I have custody and so far she has not made less than straight A's on her report card. I think she is handleing this well and my X and I are working together to make sure the blow is as soft as possible.<P>

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

Homer,<P>I remember you too!<P>I glad you found some peace...<BR>...even as time goes on...<BR>...you may find small undulations (not full blown rollercoaster swings)...<P>so...<BR>procede cautiously.<P>It's good to be in a new relationship...<BR>...very good...<BR>...but don't let it blind you!<P>Just like your momma told you...<BR>...if this is really the one for you....<BR>...you and she <B>can wait</B>!<P>Remember...<BR>...part of Plan A and Plan B is <I>self</I>-protection...<BR>...that means for life!<P> <P>Jim

Hi homer!<P>I am glad you have come to a good place in your life again! Hope the future holds wonderful things...<P>Kathi

Hi, Homer. I remember you, too. I am sorry that things did not work out for you and your wife, but I'm glad you have found some peace for yourself.<P>I wish you the best of everything - because you deserve no less. Take care!