I've made it one week now without ANY LB's and with meeting my H's needs. That's a biggie considering that only a week and a half ago, I found out H was still "married" to his first wife (we're remarrying Valentine's Day, after our papers are finalized, unless his W already filed in SC - SHE'S remarried also, so who knows!), and since my H declared that sex with me was like a "chore" to him.<P>He says that he's stopped enjoying sex b/c I constantly accused him of having an affair when he wasn't in the mood (sorry, the sex started decreasing when he was in the midst of his A! It picked up, and now it's dwindling again - what am I supposed to think?!) and because I have a hard time, um, reaching the "Big O", and I've expressed my sexual frustration many times. <P>I've been biting my tongue all week (which is probably why this post sounds so bitter), but we've had a lot of fun together. I've been flirtateous with him, which won me raised eyebrows at first, but now he's real playful. We've made love twice so far this week, and it's been wonderful! <P>I'm letting my guard down a little bit with Smurfette. She truly didn't sound like she was interested in my H other than as a lab buddy. We tried twice to get her to go out with us, but she turned us down. She talks to either one of us if she calls. I don't *think* that she's a threat anymore.<P>So anyway, just had to give that positive update. Maybe I'm not such a Plan A Wimp, after all! <P>------------------<BR>Marriage resembles a pair of shears,<BR>So joined that they cannot be separated; <BR>Often moving in opposite directions, <BR>Yet always punishing anyone who comes between them!<P>--Sydney Smith

Atta girl! We knew you had it in you, keep up the good work and have a great Thanksgiving!<P>Blessings, MT

CB,<P>Congratulations! I'm so proud of you - it's not easy, but it gets easier with practice... pretty soon, it will become a way of life for both of you! Even if you never get him to fill out an emotional needs questionnaire, or to agree to the Policy of Joint Agreement, your actions can and do affect how the relationship works. You've seen it for yourself now!<P>Have a wonderful holiday!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>