.<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited November 25, 2000).]

do you have a gut feeling? that's what started me on the road to d-day.<P>get his work schedule from him and "verify" it. do you know what I mean?

It could be something. It could be nothing, but it doesn't sound right. I think you should check it out too.

I think that you need to talk honestly to your husband about your concerns. I know I spend to many nights pretending to be a sleep when my wife would come home late. I wish I would have had the courage to just get up and ask where she was or where she was going. Is your husband into drinking or drugging? Just a thought. The key to any marriage problem is to be able to be open and honest with your husband about how you are feeling. I assume you miss your husband, want to spend evenings with him, etc. If other people can rearrange their schedules, why can't he. Anyway, talk to him about your fears and see how he responds. Try not to get angry or accusationsal when you talk with him. Hard to say what if anything is going on with him, but it does sound like your marriage is not working to well right now. <P>God's strength and much patience to you.<P>Tim

<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited November 25, 2000).]

Okay, this is really tacky. But, check the hours on his pay check. Unless he is salaried, which usually only the store manager is, he should be getting paid until 1:00. If he is staying past close and not getting paid, that is, I am sure, a violation of company policy. <P>Sad but true. My neighbors H worked where my H used to, same hours, but her H was never home when mine was. One day she asked me to help her read his check stub. Well he was saying he was at work 56 hrs a week but, hmmm, only being paid for 40. Not in a Union plant! So that's how she busted him<P>SheRa

okay.... gut feelings usually pan out to be somewhat correct.. <P>Okay.... check his pay stub... keep tabs on the hours he is working.... if he leaves for work at 2 then mark two...make an effort to be awake when he gets home and document the hour. at the end of the pay period.. check and see how many hours he has been paid for. Now, my old checks.. (when i was having the affair) marked how many hours..not what hours. so you can get a pretty good idea of what is going on. <P>For me, i started to change..i got into watching more than just footballl. I got into watching a lot of sports... i also switched perfumes.. OM liked one and bought it for me, i started making an effort to NOT be home when my family was awake. I started working more and more hours and even started working holidays( i worked at subway at the time.<P>Is there a way that you can "pop" in that late? is there someone who can watch your son while you check on things? You dont even have to approach him, you can just watch to see who leaves with him.. <P>this may NOT be teh most best advice but i know that if it were my husband in the same situation as i had been in...i would have wanted to know a whole lot sooner... sometimes just putting your mind at rest is enough reason to check up on him. but in doing these things...be prepared that you can find out things that are hurtful.<P>Do you work during the day?? Is he sleeping during the day? phone records are good to check on also.. last call return, ect ect.<P>good luck,<BR>mercy

<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited November 25, 2000).]