I need help desperately. My son will be 3 on the 4th of December. He was very, very close and attached to my H. Since H embarked on living with OW he has totally neglected our son. My son is very advanced for his age and is constantly asking questions of which I don't know what to tell him. He wanted to know if Daddy was going to help us get our Christmas Tree (I asked H and he said if he was home when we got it he would help, but he wouldn't commit to anything). My son wants to know if Daddy will be here on Xmas to take pictures of him opening his gifts. H said Xmas is too far away and he doesn't know what he is doing. My son't birthday party is next Saturday and H said he has intentions of being there but did not commit. I really don't think he will show. I don't want my son to be hurt, but I have to start telling him something besides daddy is working (my famous excuse). Any help would be appreciated.

Mische,<P>My philosphy with my kids was one of being honest with them about what was going on. My kids were a little older then yours when I found out about my wifes affair and she moved out (they were six and nine). I told them that mom had another boyfriend and that I didn't know what would happen with us. I also told them that their mom loved them very much and that what was happening was because of mom and dad, that it wasn't there fault. I also reassured them that things would be ok, no matter what happened, cause I knew that it would. For me, I had a hard time not being honest with my kids, and I also think that it was important for my wife to realize that I was not going to cover up for her. I think hiding it from the kids is another way to make it easy for the spouse in the affair to keep the affair going. She did not like that fact that I told them about the affair, but I think that is because it made her very uncomfortable. Anyway, them's my thoughts. Good luck with your situation and do know that despite the hardships your going through, things will work out ok for you and your son. <P>God's strength and much patience to you.<P>Tim