So H hasn't called since my blow up on Friday...when I told him until he can tell me when he is really coming home and how this is all going to work, until we really talk about this distance marriage I don't want him to call me. <P>Today, I feel the pool to initiate contact. Not sure what I will say...and this is the problem. <BR>We are doing plan B and not to keep him from the OW...she is still here...and supposedly there is no more interaction between them. But because he made the choice alone to move to another state and now he won't come home for the holidays and calls sporadically.<P>I know I jumped on him pretty good on Friday. But you know know one is cutting me any slack...he doesn't have to live with the day to day house taking duties or look family in the eye and smile and say that this is a great opportunity for him.<P>I am afraid I will contact him...any ideas? help guidance ...should I contact him...should I hold out for him to make the next move...<P>I am proud of myself that I stood up for me...but am not in the manner I did it in...after all he did call just because and I laid into him.<P>But I don't want to be a doormat any longer either...I want a plan...if the plan needs to be revised or adapted I am ok with that...but a plan needs to be in place...<P>any advice? or good snack recipes...<BR>

cpickel,<P>(i think of the rugrats everytime i see your name ).<P>You have had a lot to deal with so don't be hard on your self for letting him have it. Nobody does their plan perfectly all the time. <P>Ask yourself what it is you really want to contact him for. Is it worth it in the end to do that or will you be better off not contacting him? I can't answer that for you because you know your situation much better. You shouldn't be a doormat. Dr. Harley doesn't want us to be doormats in any of our Plans. Think on it for a while and decide what you need to do. If he is not seeing OW anymore, could you both agree to negotiate his move? Do you need to move with him? There are so many options. Read the articles on negotiating or conflict on this website and see if that gives you any insight.<P>as far as snacks go, a handful of chocolate chips goes a long way!