H's affair was discovered over 5 weeks ago. Living in other state with OW. H does not call us and will not give me any emergency number except a work number in case I have an emergency with our 3 year old son. Our last conversation was on Monday the 20th. It did not go well. I told him that he needs to make a decision. He put me off once again. Since then, I have not called or done anything. He told me he was working thanksgiving weekend so he couldn't fly home (yea right). Anyway I came home last evening and surprise, he called. Of course the message was for our son, but he made it a point of saying that he was still at work (I checked the number on my caller ID and it was in deed his work number). He called at 6:00 p.m. and told my son that he would try back later. Now here it is Sunday night and he hasn't called back. I am starting to think he is playing a game. When I call him, he wants nothing to do with me, but when I don't make contact he calls us. I am thinking that he didn't call back to see if I would take the initiative and call him. I'm not doing it. By point out that he was calling me from work, did he do that to prove to me he was working. Also, why did he call on a Saturday night, to see if I was home crying alone. What do you think is going on. Advice please. I also got a book on passive aggressive men and it fits my husband to a tee.

I don't want to be a wet blanket...<BR>...but to save you some grief..<P>Don't consider the call a <I>big</I> movement in the right direction...<P>...it could be a small movement initiated by guilt... and not much more.<P>Don't give up on your Plan A though...<BR>PTC.<P> <P>Jim

Mische<BR>I am afraid I have to second Jim's response. I have for almost 1 year now...wow how the time flies, tried to make even the smallest of perceived effort seem huge. And unfortunately have been hurt. You have a son who needs you to be strong, I have cats who aren't quite so needy be strong and take his actions for what they are...I know we all so desperately want each thing they do to mean something good or bad to give us some clue, some answer but the fact is a lot of time they are reacting to some guilt or some trigger...much like we do...<BR>chin up, be strong, there may be more on the way with the holiday's coming.<BR>cp