For those of you following along at home...<P>About a month ago, W told me she had called it off with OM...told him she needed to work on her marriage and cut off contact with him. We didn't spend much time together, just a couple of dates, but no fights, no LB's, everything seemed okay, though not great.<P>Fast forward to the holiday. She went home to Tx to be with her family. Yesterday, I get a call from her while she's on the road. She's desperate and needs my help. Apparently, MIL went to check on W's apartment, and found the windows open, the water heater outside, and furniture moved around. There had been a flood. So W asked me to go check it out and talk to the manager on her behalf. I get to the door, and there's a note stuck to it.<P>Thinking it was a note from management, explaining what happened, I read it...surprise! It was a note from MIL. It read, in part: "Sorry I missed you guys on Wednesday, I really wanted to meet OM. Maybe when you get back we can get together. I look forward to finally meeting OM."<P>Whoa! Turns out OM came into town on a "business trip." How many people take business trips the day before a holiday? Yeah, right. I still don't know if they went to Tx together, and I suspect I'll never get the straight story. I called her up, cursed her out, LB'd like I never have before. I asked her "so, did you sleep with him?" She said it was NONE OF MY BUSINESS!<BR>I countered with "umm...you're my WIFE!" She said "no we're not, we're separated, not married."<P>Needless to say, the divorce is once again on track. She's going to court to request the hearing, and making plans to get the rest of her stuff from the house. Apparently, her idea of "working on the marriage" is to wait a few weeks, see if there's any change in the wind, and run back to the OM she misses so much. <P>I really don't want to take her back now. She thinks that this divorce is just another stage in our relationship. She said "I just have to go through with this. We'll get divorced, and then who knows...?" In other words, she's heard of people divorcing and re-marrying years later, and thinks that might happen with us. She wants to go play with the OM, and leave the door open to come back whenever she wants.<P>Sorry all, but I have to pull the doormat out from under her. I've tried to save the marriage, but this is just too much for me.<P>Fortunately, I've discovered that instant Karma really works. The day after she told me she wanted a divorce, I negotiated a huge raise at work. The day after she filed, I got a promotion and another raise. On her end, her car got smashed the day before she went to spend a weekend with OM, she gets sick every time she goes to Vegas (where he lives), and this week, of course, she came home to a flooded, ruined apartment after her wonderful time with OM.

Like I've always said, Karma's a real b****.<P>You'd think it would occur to her that everytime she's with him something bad happens, kind of like someone (God) is trying to tell her something.

God's been trying to tell her something for a good while. It's funny. Sometimes, you just ask for "a sign," that you're doing the right thing/wrong thing. I don't think she would even notice the sign if it fell on her lap.<P>CJack - I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It is kind of funny how she still calls you in an emergency. . .If she's not going to work on her marriage, she better make some new friends, fast.

I'm sorry this has all transpired and how it must make you feel, but I do believe you are doing the right thing by saying, enough is enough. She must know she cannot have it both ways....my H went through that stage of wanting to get divorced yet keeping the door open for a future relationship with me....I let him know in no uncertain terms that that was NOT an option....I'm convinced tough love is the only way at the point that you are at with your W. <P>Best of Luck to you - you deserve better.

Thanks to all for your thoughts. I really appreciate it.<P>There&back, I know just how you feel. I've made it pretty clear to her in the past that if we divorce, she will not only lose her husband but her friend, handyman, babysitter, computer guy, and all the other things I did for her. She really wants to have her cake and eat it too. It tears my heart up, but I'm beginning to realize that some lessons need to be learned firsthand. She will divorce me, run off with the OM, it will fail miserably, and she'll call me someday.<P>I wonder what I'll say...