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#894571 11/28/00 01:07 AM
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My spouse and I are having a disagreement on the definition of total honesty. Example-<BR>If my spouse asks me a question and I don't<BR>want to answer for whatever reason, am I being totally honest by telling them I don't want to answer or am I being dishonest by not answering their question?

#894572 11/28/00 01:30 AM
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OK...it is possible that a spouse can ask a question crafted in such a way that there is a no-win answer. And of course there are times when unedited brutal honesty can be cruel.<P>However, it seems like you do have a different definition of honesty within your marriage...and my personal opinion is more like your H's.<P>Let me ask a question. Do you believe your degree of personal privacy upsurps total honesty in your marriage?

#894573 11/28/00 01:35 AM
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From the "Rule of Honesty" section under Concepts on this website...<P>"When you follow the Rule of Honesty you promise to be honest about your feelings, your personal history, your current activities and experiences, and your future plans. It is complete honesty."<P>Complete article: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html</A> <P>

#894574 11/27/00 04:08 PM
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..<p>[This message has been edited by AloneAlot (edited January 12, 2001).]

#894575 11/27/00 04:23 PM
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Alonealot--<P>Honesty applies to both partners. One can be honest about how the other's actions make them feel (hurt, angry, etc.) without using loud voices, angry outbursts, etc. It is in how you express your honest feelings.<P>Ideally, in recovering from infidelity, both partners strive to understand the other's feelings and support each other. That generally doesn't happen until the WS has recommitted to the marriage. But, even before then the BS can express their feelings honestly, but without LBs.<BR>


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