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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2 |
My spouse and I are having a disagreement on the definition of total honesty. Example-<BR>If my spouse asks me a question and I don't<BR>want to answer for whatever reason, am I being totally honest by telling them I don't want to answer or am I being dishonest by not answering their question?
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 6,380
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 6,380 |
OK...it is possible that a spouse can ask a question crafted in such a way that there is a no-win answer. And of course there are times when unedited brutal honesty can be cruel.<P>However, it seems like you do have a different definition of honesty within your marriage...and my personal opinion is more like your H's.<P>Let me ask a question. Do you believe your degree of personal privacy upsurps total honesty in your marriage?
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
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Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283 |
From the "Rule of Honesty" section under Concepts on this website...<P>"When you follow the Rule of Honesty you promise to be honest about your feelings, your personal history, your current activities and experiences, and your future plans. It is complete honesty."<P>Complete article: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html</A> <P>
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 41
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 41 |
..<p>[This message has been edited by AloneAlot (edited January 12, 2001).]
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283 |
Alonealot--<P>Honesty applies to both partners. One can be honest about how the other's actions make them feel (hurt, angry, etc.) without using loud voices, angry outbursts, etc. It is in how you express your honest feelings.<P>Ideally, in recovering from infidelity, both partners strive to understand the other's feelings and support each other. That generally doesn't happen until the WS has recommitted to the marriage. But, even before then the BS can express their feelings honestly, but without LBs.<BR>
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