OK I'm fixin to detonate a mega LB...<P>Just got off the phone with my WS, who has just worked a 48 hour shift (same job as the OM)... tomorrow is her birthday, but she is going to breakfast (with him I'm sure) rather than come home to me and the 3 kids (2 of which have colds at the moment)... and then she volunteered to participate in some training during her birthday 5-9PM (you can bet the OM will be there too) rather than be home...<P>She has been basically absent from our home (and our relationship) the past 4 months due to volunteering for extra work, same time she EA'd with the OM. She is not showing any feeling or urgency about us. She acts unhappy most of the time, as if she wants to be somewhere else.<P>I'm going to take her to open her own account tomorrow, arrange for rental furniture for her apartment, and move her tail out despite it being her birthday. That ought to rate pretty high on the old LB meter. I'm fed up!!! She needs a wake up call.<P>What do you think?

You are doing the right thing. It is <BR>unbelievable that she has pretty much<BR>abandoned her three children for four<BR>months. Enough is enough and hopefully<BR>she will realize the ramifications of her<BR>actions. Good Luck

Whoa! Kids, don't try that at home, but....<P>Tough love seemed to do some good. Called her before she came over and said I thought we were seriously "broken", that I had been trying very hard but at this point she should be out on her own for awhile. She left work and drove around for 2 hours thinking. When she came home I described what I thought had happened to us, and how if we were going to make things work we had to both be committed to each other, and the EA must stop.<P>She seemed to agree.<P>Too early to celebrate, but now she is talking about moving out only for 1-3 weeks (rental furniture) in order to clear her head before she comes home. I did take her to open her checking account, so that she could pay her own 'moved out' expenses.<P>I'm encouraged! Will keep you posted, because things could suddenly turn sour as you know...<P>Survivin

You know, this is something I just don't get. This whole "think things through", "time to myself", blah, blah, blah.<P>What in the heck is there to think through? In all these situations you see on this board, what it all boils down to is this: You're married, you've got kids!! Get your head out of your a**, stop screwing around, and fix your marriage!!!!!<P>Yeah, yeah, I know, the whole fog thing. But when it comes down to moving out of your home, uprooting your children's family, and all the other crap that goes with it, that's just beyond a fog. That's you don't have a f'ing clue as to what in the heck you're doing, and need to sign over power of attorney to someone that has a functioning brain before you bite off more than you can chew.<P>sorry, just had to vent there.

Wow, PamO, nice vent. Made me feel better just reading it.<P>Thanks!<BR>

Another "good" day today... I was upbeat, strong and confident. I tell myself I'm a good catch and she'd be a fool to step out.<P>She was miserable most of the day, but it looked like it was because she was having second and third thoughts about the whole thing. Woo Hoo!<P>So far I've been Plan A (fixed all the broken things and was Mr. Nice), but when she continued behavior which made me ill I gave her a small dose of Plan B. If you know you're right, don't back down (in my case)!<P>Stay tuned...