Thank you for all who answered my message. I have tried step A and that hasn't worked. I have tried step B but haven't carried through with it. I will starting now!! I talked with my H today and he will not give her up nor ever apologize for having the affair or being in love with the OW. That is a slap in the face to me considering I was giving him my all and being as supportive as I could for him. I have realized he is getting the best of both worlds by my being there for him. There are quite a few things that he doesn't like about the OW and knows it won't last so he keeps the contact with me in case as someone to fall back on. I have more pride than that. The hardest part is the visitation with the kids. He comes to my house to visit, never taking the kids. Our 11 year old doesn't want much to do with him, but our 9 year old loves her dad. Then twin boys who are a year don't know any better. It definately makes it hard, but I am going to make it!! Thanks again for all the help.

mother of 4...<P>I'll be honest with you...<P>Most people who start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>...don't make a <B>good</B> enough.<BR>They feel they did a good job...<BR>...but rarely is it as <I>pure</I> as it could be.<P>I'd suggest that you re-read al you can on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> (especially <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>) and work on it for at least the holidays!<P>And as your working on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>...start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>...<BR>(check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000177.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000413.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 201</A>).<P>You do sound frustrated...<BR>...but going through these steps methodically...<BR>...and giving each a bit more time<BR>...is to your benefit.<P> <P>Jim