I think I'm growing up! <P>It's been six months since I've joined this forum and have implemented MB principles (albeit shakily, at times) into my life and my marriage. I've been doing a good Plan A here lately, and it's starting to really pay off. My H and I are able to laugh together again. When we go out to dinner, we don't sit silently anymore, we talk and have fun. We flirt now for the first time in a year. If my Plan A starts to crack and something he does irks me, instead of getting defensive, he does the most ridiculous thing to make me laugh. Our marriage is doing very well, and my trust level is slowly working it's way back up.<P><B>Jennifer Chalmers</B> - It's amazing what only a few sessions with you can do! Thank you for helping me to get on a plan to help my marriage (The "Big Red" has been a life saver!) I'll be making another appointment after the holiday season.<P><B>Lor, NSR, Lostva, JL, AZ Allison, K, Resilient, Leilana, Many Tears, Peppermint, and the rest of the MB Veterans</B> - Thank you for your wonderful advice, and thank you for keeping me grounded. Your experiences have helped and inspired me to grit my teeth and continue Plan Aing, even through the most frustrating times. Y'all always seem to know exactly what to say (how do you do that? ) when I slip off of the narrow path. I appreciate you all so much!<P><B>Hurtinginil, Weep, Beerman, Yuki, cl, WAT, FHL, Sweetpea, and anybody else who I may have missed (you know who you are!)</B> - Thank you for the laughs and the advice! We're going through hell, but we all keep each other up. Having the chance to give y'all advice has helped me out tremendously. You guys are great!<P>My H and I have our first major test coming up in the new year. My H got a job as a Nursing Assistant at a top care facility in our area. It's a field that he's always wanted to get into, and I am extremely proud of him. Right now he works in a lumber mill with all men, but now he'll be working primarily with women. That and he'll be working the evening shift, which means we will rarely see each other. I'm scared, but I think that we're ready for this. We wouldn't be if I hadn't discovered this forum and these principles.<P>I feel good knowing that I'll have you with me as my H and I take this next step. Thank you again for putting up with all of my ramblings and not treating me like a "kid." I greatly appreciate it!<P>------------------<BR>Marriage resembles a pair of shears,<BR>So joined that they cannot be separated; <BR>Often moving in opposite directions, <BR>Yet always punishing anyone who comes between them!<P>--Sydney Smith<p>[This message has been edited by Carolina Belle (edited December 01, 2000).]

Hi CB! I feel honored to be mentioned in your post. I don't think I've helped you much, but you've helped me sooooo much.<P>I'll keep you posted. You'll have mail on Monday AM when you arrive at work.....

Dear Mon Belle,<P>Congratulations on the restoration of happy meal times and the success in rebuilding part of the foundation and some of the rooms.<P>I really appreciate that you were one of the first to answer my cry for help. You gave me some heartfelt advice and I remember you wrote a really long post that struck me and made me feel so warm and comforted.<P>I think a lot about you and your situation but sometimes I am unable to reply quick enough because I have a baby at home and often I have visitors around. Other times, I simply have little knowledge (eg CV for a nurse) and yet on other occasions, you already have great advice.<P>I feel that you I have made a very strong and courageous and energetic friend in you. I pray that your life is full of peace, joy and love. May God restore your marriage to complete health.<P>Love<BR>weep

hurtinginil - Hey, you've put up with my e-mail "novels" too! So yes, you've been a great help!<P>I hope all is well with you and your H - I know he came home Friday. Keep me posted!<P>Weep - I am very grateful for the advice (and humor! ) that you have provided in your posts to me. How are you doing, by the way? Are things going better between you and your H? Let us know. <P>Thanks once again!

Belle - as a former Carolina resident, congrats on the progress and please keep in touch so that we may learn from you. Nothing but happiness for you!<P>WAT

Thank you.<P>Aren't you PROUD of yourself!!!!! <P>Lori

Go for it, girl, you deserve happiness! <P>I'm so happy seeing things are improving rapidly for you. Thank you, too, for your encouragement and putting up with my long posts. <P>Only I hope you won't forget us. You should have a very good excuse - say, happy marriage?? <BR>

Carolina Belle,<P>Thanks for sharing the positive news, and for remembering me in your post. You've done a great job with your marriage, and are so wise for your years. Keep up the good work, and stay with us!<P>Peppermint

Dear Mon Belle,<P>Things are very tough over here but I am trusting God to provide deliverance and blessings. My WS is caught in a very difficult situation at work again although it is a different company but the same scenario of personalities. I believe that God wants him to overcome this hurdle and not fear man and situations but to reserve fear only for God and to totally lean on God however tough the circumstance may be.<P>It was WS's lack of faith and closeness to God that made him so vulnerable to the schemes and demands of others; he feared what man can do and was eaten up by all that wickedness. WS experienced first hand the miracles and tangible gifts from Jesus but it is taking some time for him to grow in the Lord as he still believes that 'it is about the effort I put in or God will not help'. So it looks like a very similar situation is found in his new firm because he just hasn;t learnt to trust totally in God.<P>Well, WS equates sex to evil now and we are heading towards therapy to deal with so many issues that WS has refused to face. He wanted to just forget and get on but you know A is the most damaging and risky sin in a marriage and to not confront the issues and work through them to come up with a framework of an affair proof marriage, the A will happen again for two reasons. First, that the pain on BS is something that can be gotten over no questions ask. Second, that they feel so worthless and might as well sin again and again since I am this awful sinner.<P>Yesterday, I prayed together with him after what must have been months. The road is still tough and I have no more love for him. I think that is why I have been blessed with a baby so that I will stay in this marriage. It is a strange feeling but I am not in love anymore, the heart is empty, no hastened heartbeats, no palpitation as he is near, nothing, void, zilch. I am now focussing more on my life and potential and my baby. <P>It was quite bad some days ago when I slashed the portrait painting of us because the situation was so hopeless. He ran rings around me and I just gave up. Days are bleak because of the lost love and trust and betrayal. I am trying to turn my attention to new activities so that I find some joy in living. Some years down the road, I might take up a short paracounselling course and help others either through the phone or on a site as this in a voluntary capacity. All this pain is too good to waste?<P>As for the rebuilding, we haven't done the piling even, we just managed to both decide that we need certain equipment and contractors, ie, the counsellor, the counselling and the trust in God.<P>God bless you<BR>hugs<BR>weep<P>PS: Is smurfette passe now?

Wow! I never thought in a million years I would be mentioned in someone's thank you post! I believe the correct saying is: "No, thank YOU!"! <P>Miaka<P>PS You were talking about me, weren't you?