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Joined: Jun 2000
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Hi Everyone...<P>Throughout Cjack's post there were several references to a benchmark time of an affair lasting 2 years.<P>I'd like to know in what literature from MB that is stated ... I guess I've missed it somehow. <P>Love,<BR>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,244
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Jo,<P>I recall reading that, but my recollection is that it said usually they end after 6 months (of seeing the light of day), but that they can go on for 2 years. Now the problem....I can't remember where I read it. HN/HN or on this site in the articles.
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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I believe that the 2 year time frame is mentioned in "Surviving an Affair" and may also be discussed on the website in some of the articles - check out the Plan A/Plan B articles.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
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Joined: Apr 1999
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Jo,<BR>Worse than 2 years, the Conway Midlife Crisis Trilolgy (MEN IN MIDLIFE CRISIS, WOMEN IN MIDLIFE CRISIS, YOUR HUSBAND'S MIDLIFE CRISIS)says the MLC can last up to 5 years, and generally an affair, or yearning for an affair, is part of it.<P>Somehow 2 years doesn't sound so bad, huh? My H's affair lasted 18 months, EA contact longer both before & after that, but at the 2 year mark, a little over a year after disclosure, he was ready for our marriage.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).
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Joined: Dec 1999
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When I emailed Jim Conway this exact question, he said something like "the time frame usually depends on the severity of the triggers of the crisis, i.e., how many burdens the midlife man is dealing with at once. Recovering from an affair means healing all the reasons it happened as well."<P>Made sense to me.<P>In our case, I thought my h. was too young, but because his parents were so much older than most, we went through taking over their financial affairs, a bankruptcy, signing security for their apt, then burying them both, all within 5 years. <P>My h. was only 33 when this all started and we were ill equipped...with three young children and the beginnings of his career. <P>my two cents,<BR>lizpearl<p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited December 02, 2000).]
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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Wow ... sounds like a resource I need to look into. My husband was in his early thirties as well, and had lost both of his parents - father when H was 17 and mother in 1997, and had a depressed wife. Not so surprising I guess...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
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Joined: Dec 1999
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He's at midlife.com<P>He just lost his wife Sally a couple years ago (she lost her fight with cancer).<P>She was his writing partner, and their books come out of their own EXPERIENCE and education.<P>It will take a while to get a response if you write him, because he travels to speak (you will find his schedule posted). His work is his ministry, so he is supported solely by his book sales and speaking engagements.<P>A very good complement to MB stuff...no conflicting ideas at all.<P>lizpearl
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