Hi,<BR>I started to think I'm the one who's in the fog..<BR>My H moved out at the end of April, we contacted on and off, but when we talk/meet he's usually very nice.<P>But recently I had a fit and think I blew everything.. which is too bad but fine.<BR>I talked to 3 people about what was going down, my SIL, and one our mutual friend(but H hasn't talked to him for a while), and my friend.<P>First SIL seemed to think I was the one who couldn't let him go. she said my H dumped me and it wasn't good idea for me to hold on to him. So I said that he's the one always wanted to see me and he's the one who kissed me or hugged me when we met.<BR>Our mutual friend said almost the same thing, so I explained what my H has told me then he said, "is he with you now"(my answer is no), "is he seeing OW?"(my answer is yes), "is he intimate with you?"(my answer is no)<BR>My friend said why I can't refuse when he tried to hug me or kiss me. I don't know..<P>So from the conversations with these 3 people looks like he dumped me for OW and that is very clear and obvious.<BR>I guess I shouldn't consider the things he says to me(I love you, i think about you very often, i wanted to see you, etc.)<P>So I guess I'm the one who can't let him go and obsessed and addicted.<P>Update: well nothing much happened but D procedure is in process and it should end this month. I feel some kind of relieaf.. I needed that for my sanity.<P>Meg

Meg,<P>If you're in Plan B... and I believe you are(?)...<P>...if you're not over him (your H)<BR>...and there is still some love left for him...<P>...IT'S OK!<P>Plan B doesn't mean you hate your spouse...<BR>...it (Plan B and any left over love for your spouse) can go beyond the divorce!<P>My divorce should be done by Christmas... more or less...<BR>...and only on it's completion will I send my W my Plan B letter....<BR>...yeh... I probably Plan A-ed a bit too long (14 months)...<P>The 2 year anniversary of D-day will come up in 4 months...<BR>...if she doesn't marry before then...<BR>...I feel that that may be the end of my Plan B too...<BR>...but that (for right now) remains open-ended for me too!<P>Hang tough...<BR>...little one!<P>...work on a better who?...<BR>.....yes <B>you</B>... <P>Hey...<BR>...I bet you've missed this...<BR>...<B>you are still loved</B>!<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<BR>It's very nice to hear from you.. I don't see your posts as much as used to be..(aren't you retiring are you??????)<BR>I guess I still have some feeling for my H, if I didn't I wouldn't feel pains now. But I'm trying to kill these feeling. It's not good for me, since H isn't gonna be with me and it's stopping me from movin on faster.<P>I'm not really in Plan B. I'm in Plan D maybe.. But I think H is living with OW in MA and rarely here(Canada) so we are not in touch often anyway. Besides, I became violent at him and that basically ended if there was any hope left. But that was supposed to happen sooner or later. Now we both did something awful.<P>At least I'm going to take an anger management course so I know I will be a better person(for myself not for him). Meanwhile he keeps telling me he's not happy he's depressed etc, he still hasnt gotten any help so I just wish him luck...<BR>ANYWAY, WHATEVER HE FEELS IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE!<P>I do much much better without him and I know he's no good for me.<BR>But sometimes the fact he left me stubbs me and I have pain. but I try not to go there..it's still too hurting.<P>Jim, I don't remember reading about your in laws.. how are they? Mine, they are nice but it's hard for me to keep contacting. So right now I'm thinking of cutting off after an official D. I'm going to change my phone # too.<P>I wasn't doing Plan A very good.. and it was for a short time too. But well, it's ok.. I feel I'm finding a single life is better for me.<P>I wish you well, Jim. thanks for posting.<BR>Meg<BR>

Meg,<P>Your right...<BR>...I haven't been posting much...<BR>...been job hunting... and it seems it will pay off shortly.<P>About my ILs...<BR>...my FIL passed away about 9 months before my W's affair started...<BR>...these changes are very common before a MLC like my W's!<P>My MIL... and I are great!<BR>...she treats me better than the other 3 children (her own)...<P>I take the kids over to house almost every weekend I get the kids!<P>My W has almost completely broken off with her family...<BR>...they (W and her family) talked on the phone (very short)... only because my oldest son called his mom, and then pressured everyone into talking with her...<BR>...that's why the conversations were very short...<BR>...none of them will have <B>anything</B> to do with the OM...<BR>...they all feel she abandoned her kids and her family!<BR>...the last time they spoke before (US) Thanksgiving was end of February this year.<P>I too am coming around...<BR>...straightening my self out...<BR>...and the job will help!<P>Prayers to you... <P>Jim

Jim,<P>It's good to know about your in-laws. It's sad your wife has almost nothing to do with them but I think we all need as much support as possible, so good for you!<BR>But isn't your W going to be resentful if they refused to see OM?(or that's why she cut off contact with them?)<P>Mine, my MIL died and I never met her. My H and his father aren't in a good relationship, also he lives far away and I never met him either(I haven't even seen a picture, so I don't know how he looks).<BR>So when I say in-laws they are his siblings.<BR>I don't know if this is Canadian or French Canadian thing, but they kinda accepted (or ignored) what H has been doing. They even met OW and that really hurt me.<BR>They are nice to me and feel bad for me but it's not enough to refuse seeing OW or say anything to my H, and I guess I'm a controlling person and I don't want them to see her till we divorce(and maybe I have an old fashioned way of thinking), but that's not gonna happen so it's better for me to stay away from them.<P>H's brother had A in the past and his wife told me that her situation and mine were different since they had kids. I guess it was much easier for H to leave me.<P>I have to change the topic, it's going to a depressing area..<P>Again, thanks for your response and I really hope everything goes well for you regarding your new job and EVERYTHING .<P>Meg