Ok I was just re reading the three stages of marriage and I can see that WE are always in the state of conflict or withdrawl.<P>H appears to go into withdrawl more than I do..<BR>I know my taker will Rear it's ugly head and finally explode and then H's taker will explode and I usually calm down..but he goes into withdrawl...and it is usally ME that has to calm things down...<P>What I don't understand is why do we keep going from conflict to withdrawl and back again without ever reaching the state of intimacy?<P>Could it be because he lives so far away and just talking on the phone doesn't help restore the intimacy? <P>We can't do the POJA becuase H still has not recommitted to making the marriage work. But as of today ( who knows by Monday) the divorce is still on hold.<P>My giver says call him and apoligize for your words..but my taker says NO way this is the way he wants it and doesn't care about you or our son...<P>Help Help Help

Tyra,<P>You really seem to be working hard on the MB principles. Your post shows a lot of self examination...and I have no idea how to respond to it!<P>I wish I could offer some insight into what you might try to move beyond where you are now, but I don't think I have any answers. I wanted to bring this back to the top so that other folks here might give it a look and see what they thought.<P>All the best. --HBC