Welcome <B>cantbelieveit</B>...<P>...Rick is so kind... ...to keep me on my toes... <P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your reply to HH</B>...<P>"I am crushed."...<BR>...<B>sadly so many of us know this feeling</B>.<P>"He has not been exposed. I feel really badly for his wife."...<BR>...<B>the question of contacting the OM's W is common</B>...<BR>...if falls on your moral decision<BR>...it is considered a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Buster</A> in most cases...<BR>...but where moral values have a place in your life is truly up to your conscience!<P>"Should I tell my wife to leave her job or should I let her face the enemy."...<BR>...<B>in general... <I>she</I> must make the decision</B> to heal the marriage... and if a change in job is on she can accept.<P>"should I confront the guy and tell him that if he does not tell his wife then I will"...<BR>...<B>telling or even talking with the OM is a much larger <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Buster</A> than talking to his W</B>... and most veterans on the forum will tell you... <B>DON'T</B> talk to the OM. Letting his W know... is always best if can be done discreetly... maybe through a third (semi-)disinterested party... if possible.<P>------------------------------------<P>In <B>ALL</B> cases...<BR>...learn about and start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>..<BR>...check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> too.<P>Do get the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank> "Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>...<BR>...and start working on you...<BR>...you (changes to you) needs to the focus!<P>Remember...<BR>...<B>you are NOT alone</B>!<P> <P>Jim

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>