Well, my husband has finally admitted to have a sexual relationship with his co-worker. Even though in my heart I knew this to be true, actually hearing it come from his mouth was like a knife going through my heart. He asked if I could forgive him. I said that it is not my place to judge him, that God does that and I feel that I can forgive him, but I don't know if I can forget. All I see is the two of them sharing an intimacy that was only to be shared between the two of us. Any advice on how to get over something like this.

No advice only a heart that is feeling for you. I too am in the early part of recovery, Just remember that forgiving is not condoning nor is it forgeting. Take one day at a time. Keep reading and posting here, I gain strength daily from everyones post. Best of luck. Jenni

Hi.<P>A few pointers from a veteran (my h. slept with a coworker over 30 times in a 14 month span...he was 'in love' and thought she would leave her husband AND her other boyfriend for him):<P>1. Get the "Choosing to Forgive" workbook by Carter & Minirth<P>It will take you a few months to do the whole book thoroughly, but it is AMAZING.<P>2. Read Surviving an Affair by Harley<P>and <P>3. Carol Rhodes "Emergency Tactics" (not positive of the exact title, I've loaned it out).<P>4. Pray alot and think about all the crappy, hurtful things you've ever done...did God zap you for them?, or Do you and God both know that you did them because you are a flawed, sinful person?<P>Guess what I'm saying is, look at his failing in light of your own...not just in your marriage, but in life...<P>I don't think God sees adulterers as the unforgiveable...witness King David and Bathsheba...<P>and David died being known as "The Beloved of God"<P>just my nickels worth,<P>lizpearl/liz smith/POGP/alias<P>BTW, you won't ever FORGET...unless you have a lobotomy...do you really want to hurt this badly and NOT learn from the experience? You need to remember to benefit.... <p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited December 04, 2000).]

up<P>Mische, how are you doing?

Hi Alias:<P>I am doing okay, but am majorally confused. One day my husband is sweet and cooperative and the next day, "we are never going to be able to work this out". I don't know if he is still with the OW or not, but I am not worrying about her. Just trying to figure out what I want and how to go about getting it.