I am new. My husband of 18 wonderful years is having an affair with a coworker. We are going to counseling, and she diagnosed him right away with clinical depression. He moved out before we started counseling. He hasn't been able to make any decisions. He maintains that the affair didn't start until after he moved out. That's beside the fact. He claims he loves me, is afraid of making a mistake one way or the other.<BR> We got married very young. But just a few months before all this happened we were as happy as ever. We have always been so happy to find one another, and didn't have to look forever to find our perfect mate. So now he's claiming he didn't get to have time to live it up.<BR> With God's help I have been able to survive. I have been able to survive the last 10 weeks doing plan A even though he's not here. He calls every day wanting to see if I'm okay. And yet he wants her too. He has lied to me several times in the last week and before we were ALWAYS honest with one another. He wants to buy a house next door to her. So that he can "clear" his head. The counselor says that the depression has alot to do with him being not being able to make a clear cut decision. <BR> My question is this. Do I keep going on with plan A? Plan B would be so hard with our two teenage boys. I can't stay in this perpetual state of limbo forever. Do I wait for the anti-depressants to help? Any advise from those that have lived this? <BR> Thanks, TR<p>[This message has been edited by deputywife (edited December 04, 2000).]