a major hangup if you do work it out.. It may sound very trivial or even childish to most but one major hang up I know I'm going to have is my wife's breast implants. One of my first cues into her having an A was when she insisted that she needed implants. I pleaded with her not to get them knowing that there was no other reason than for someone else's attention. It turned out that within 2 weeks of her getting them two OM had touched them and I hadn't even seen them yet... I hope I don't sound childish for this but every time I see them it is a constant reminder of her indiscretions.... Is this just a selfish thought that will go away with time or am I stuck to be reminded of this event forever? Rambling again....

Crick, I find nothing trivial about it. I know how you feel. I have triggers that trigger my triggers. Something as silly as an Elvis song, a beach, seeing him undress, hearing him breathe. and so on and so on and so on. I think that it will get better for you, time is wonderous. I hope your W is willing to work hard to restore your faith in her. I am amazed at how many wonderful spouses there are out there. (I thought I was the only one.) Really though it takes a special kind of love to endure this kind of pain. Although I understand those who choose not to go thru this also. I have no answers for your questions. This is a hard one since they are a part of her. What helped me was I look at my H's body parts as the same as his arm or leg etc. So that way all she did was touch his skin, never his heart. It is such a small fraction of his whole person that I can deal with it. (at least most of the time) So maybe if you look at her breast as just a small part of her whole it might be easier. At least I hope so. My best to you Jenni