Ok so I have gone to "forced" Plan B. And I am doing OK. Very tired. Organising myself to move out this w/end. Busy like crazy at work. Anyway tonight I rang a friend to tell her i would not be coming to her party this saturday. Simply told her H. and I had separated. She was amazed, distressed, ask a lot of questions, was trying to be helpful. I didnt want to be rude but didnt want to go over it with her, Soon after her H rang me - he is a good friend of H's and insists he is going to talk to him. By now they both know their is an OW. Friends H even knows her - and burst out laughing when I told him her name - says my H is a fool, having a mid life crisis (in mid 50s?), tells me to wait, he will come out of it etc. They dont know this saga has dragged on for two years. H will be furious when he is contacted about this. Oh well, I guess they have to manage that exchange, <P>Anyway, i dont feel I handled the telling very well. Any advice on what to say? I tried to be matter of fact, tried to be appreciative of their support and concern but feel I might have escalated the whole thing right and put it into the public arena.<P>R

Well you can't go on protecting him forever. I try to protect my WS & in the process I think I lost most of my friends. I had one of my closest friends tell me they were offended that I stop coming to them, I almost laughed, they did not try & see us/me, all contact was when I hunted them down. Oh well, you lose some, you win some.<P>Prayers being sent your way.

Rosebrook,<P>Don't worry if your friends say something to your H. This is a normal consequence to a seperation. I think a part of coming out of the fog is finding that the world is not going to pat you on the back for leaving your spouse for another person. <P>There are consequences we all have to face for our actions in life. This is one your husband is going to have to face, and it's not your job to protect him. Right now you have to protect yourself.