My H has been living with OW for 7 months now and shows no signs of coming home.<P>He has gone from not talking to me at all to every night when he phones the kids asking if I want to speak to him. I don't usually talk to him unless he specifically wants to talk. When he does he talks for about 20 mins usually about 4 times a week. He tells me what he has been doing and says that he was thinking that I would enjoy it.<P>I am very confused and try to be as friendly as possible. Should I keep being there for him , his sister reckons that I am making it too eaysy for him and I should cut off contact - I am really unsure!<P>Any advice please<P>Annie H

Dear Annie H,<P>Have you read about or tried Plan A or B? If not, you could go the the other part of this site and read about them.<P>Having continued talking to my H over the past year (he too lives with OW) and doing Plan A, I recently moved to Plan B. It's hard, but I am feeling somewhat better because I don't have as many emotional ups and downs. I just can't seem to stop caring and thinking about him, so I think Plan B will be good for me.<P>Looking back on it all....and this is ONLY MY OPINION.....I wish I would have stopped contact with him a loooooooong time ago. That is what I see now looking back....but at the time, who knows, it may not have made any difference. Part of the Plan A actions SEEM to allow the wayward spouse to "have his cake and eat it too," so it feels like you are being taken advantage of.<P>I think it's really up to you, but if you do stop contact with him, make sure you don't do it out of anger....just let him know that for you to "move on" you need to do this, and then do it and stick to it. <P>Again....just my opinion....but I think I would be a little further down the road had I done this earlier.....<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Mrs.O (edited December 08, 2000).]

Thanks for the reply. I feel a bit like he is getting the best of both worlds - I just can't make up my mind if I have the strength to continue being there for him.