Had to drop my two boys off at her work tonight so she could take them for the weekend. Being so close to the root of all the problems was almost more than I could stand. I actually began to shake as I sat in the parking lot for her to come out. On top of that this is the first weekend since she left two months ago that she is taking them. It sure left me with a lost feeling without them. All my emotions came crashing down again as I drove away... Just to be near that place makes me ill... I sure wish I could just let loose and give her a full piece of my mind. Let her know how horrible what she has done and is doing is... Hope the roller coaster is going uphill tomorrow. Crick

Dear Crick,<P>Hang in there! My H is picking up my 3 little boys for virtually their first weekend away from me ever so I know exactly how you feel. I can't get beyond the thought that he has given up his right to see the kids after he left us. Unfortunately they have a right and need to see him.<P>Sometimes all this swallowing of pain and anger that we WSs do seems so false and abnormal that I wonder if it really helps. But screaming and crying probably wouldn't help the situation either (but it would feel great, wouldn't it?)<P>I hope you have something fun planned for yourself this weekend. I'm planning on getting out of the house and being around people so I don't cry and feel sorry for myself all weekend. Here's hoping for an upswing to your roller coaster ride!

Exhausted,<P> Actually thought a getting the Christmas presents for the boys tomorrow would be the ticket... I've had a few nights to myself since this all started thanks to my parents. Went out to the have a few drinks to ease some of the pain but found myself feeling worse... Strange to think perhaps shopping will make me feel better... Never looked forward to it in my life. Guess the stress does wierd things to people. I've been at this long enough to know the downs are temporary. I always pick myself back up. Kind of funny how I read my previous posts and see myself bounce. My oldest boy told me while I was taking him there that he will think about me the whole time... They sure have a way of making you feel good. Hope it's getting better for you. I have a councelling session with the Harley's on Monday. Hoping it will help.... Keep hangin in there... I know things always end up working out... Crick

Crick, <P>Hope you & Exhausted are doing all right without your kids. Enjoy the breather.<P>My WS has our youngest son at a resort today. I was invited but oldest son had a big party tonight & I wasn't comfortable with him being here alone.<P>WS couldn't understand why I would not come, so I finally LB & told him. Youngest son wanted me to come, he knew I had cried & H did too. So I told there were several reasons I could not go. 1st OS; <BR>2nd that I knew he had made his decision pretty sure he plans D in 2001) & that I had to get use to him taking my children (that is why I was crying); <BR>3rd that as always instead of talking to me about plans he mentions it to boys 1st. <BR>4th if things were different I would have love to go; <BR>5th that I was trying to hang on till Christmas but wasn't sure if I could make it; <BR>6th I really wasn't invited ( he did respond to that, that I was sitting there when they talked about it).<P>Could tell he was mad, but he wouldn't say anything. Then I get happy, tell them have fun, that it sounds fun, when he gets in the car I told him have fun, I will be all right.<P>Now they left this morning & have called twice, 1st time didn't get the phone, guess when they got there, 2nd a few hr. later, YS wanted to tell me all what they had done, & he wished I was there. Then H gets on the phone & wants to know about OS, & that they had called earlier.<P>MY YS needed time with just his dad, told H that, & he knew if I was there I would just ruin things because I couldn't relax with OS left at home.<P>Who knows? I am just tired of playing without knowing the rules. Part of me wants to tell him I am sorry but part of me wants him to realize that this how it will be. OS will have plans, will not want to go with him, & YS will miss mommy.<P>

Crick - I'm with you all the way. The ups and downs are a bummer, but we're like everyone else. We strap in tight and hold on for the ride - they don't call this a rollercoaster for nothin'. <P>We guys with kids are slightly in the minority here. Given the traditionally accepted view that young children are closer to their Moms, we probbly do have a different set of emotions - no more, no less, just different, - from the betrayed Moms. Although I know some of the ladies would argue that their WSs seem to have no interest in their kids. Let us be the good examples of what fathers are supposed to be.<P>It's probably harder when the kids are younger. My son is 12 and he seems to take some responsibility to ensure Mom and Dad get equal time with him. I guess we've convinced him that we both love him dearly and would prefer to have him to ourselves, but he knows that's not fair.<P>Anyway, I know how you felt leaving them with her the first time, especially under those circumstances. But pick yourself back up like we all seem to do, keeping in mind you'll probably have to do it again. You're the stable one for your kids. They need you to be strong. Do it for yourself and for them. You're being a giant of a Man.<P>WAT

<P>"Let us be the good examples of what fathers are supposed to be"<P>Hate to be so mooshy here on a Saturday morning, but that is one of the most perfect things I've ever read. You get it Worthatry.<P>You know, one of the things MB has shown me, at a time where I could have turned myself into a bitter hateful person, is that there are indeed good men on this earth...and you Worthatry are one of them. <P>Great advice...you are needed here. <P>allison

We are on the same ride. I'm without mine now, from Wednesday to Sunday. The first time I walked into my house without them here, it was awful. I get angry that she can have an A and take them from me. I called them Wed. night, and my son said "Daddy, I don't want to stay here, I want to be with you at home". It just ripped right through me. We got on a different subject, and he was OK, but how sickening this all is for them.<P>We have joint custody now, but what really bothers me is that the two days during the week that I have them, I'm at work during the day, so I just see them in the morning and when I come home. Weekends with them will be great. I wish so badly that I could just be at home with them. If I won a lottery, I'd just stay home. At least I'd have total quality time with them for one half the time.<P>I've kept busy since she got them. Shopping first night, met a couple of friends the next night, and went to an Xmas party last night. Need to come up with a plan for tonight. I don't like being alone at home too much.<P>Hang in there everyone.

Hey Guys, let's cheer up. We're good Dads, we've proven it. Stand tall. How's this for a twist: Tonight (Sat.) neither me or my wife get our son. He's at a sleep over birthday party across the street. So it's me and the dogs, and who knows what WS is doing? I think A is on the wane, so in a sadistic way, I hope she's lonely, too. But I've got a few beers and a rented DVD and a chance to play the Beatles REAL LOUD!!!!! Anyone care to join me?<P>WAT

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by worthatry:<BR><B>But I've got a few beers and a rented DVD and a chance to play the Beatles REAL LOUD!!!!! Anyone care to join me?<P>WAT </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You're on! Abbey Road it is!<P>AGG

WAT,<P>I was wondering where that loud music was coming from. Hope you have fun tonight. I had my few beers last night at an Xmas party, so I'll be drinking tea tonight. I hope the Harley call takes place and helps you out.<P>