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Joined: Nov 2000
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Did any of you betrayeds begin to question your faith after being betrayed? My oh my, my mind is starting to wonder if there's a god as my pain/anger/sorrow is just getting worse. I mean, as a result of the only one that I have ever loved betraying me for someone whom I have ALWAYS abhorred, I'm questioning everything now - Is there such a thing as true love? Is the "American Dream" unobtainable? Is the pain, hard work and joy related to raising kids worth it? Is there a God? Can ANYONE ever be trusted in life? Would my answers be clearer if WS and I separated? Confusion reigns.<P><BR>Brad<BR>bmarkins@hotmail.com

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Dear Bradthe Dad,<P>Same questions in my mind all the time. But there is a God and your children are God's gifts.<P>The others I am not sure about, especially true love and the American Dream. But I do believe that if God is the center of one'e life, there will be true love despite our human weaknesses. I do believe that if a country has God as the centre, it will prosper (read Derek Prince: Prayer and Fasting).<P>Yes, there is eternal life. I saw it through a real vision of my WS adultery, complete with name and how it will continue. Other messages accompanied throughout the duration of the adultery.<P>Despite God's Grace being sufficient for my needs, I still am angry and sometimes at God for the total devastation and cry out to him as to why if God is Good and Real, why do such things happen. God is Good, He has sent many godly men and women to help us and intercede for us. Please pray for such so that you have support to help you heal and recover and rebuild.<P>You can journal your thoughts as well.

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Brad,<P>I question my faith all the time.<P> The hardest thing for me is that my WS was a very religious man, very knowledgeable Bible scholar & to know that I have a part in him losing his soul tears me apart. This is one of the reasons that I have hung in as long as I have because I can't leave with the fact that my actions (not meeting his EN) may have cost him his soul.<P>This A hasn't just made me doubt but my OS also. A few months after finding out about the A, he told me that he couldn't understand why this happened that he had always thanked God for his family, & now it was falling apart, why did it happen. I use to hear my son praying at night, long prayers, I don't hear him anymore. He is not the fine Christian young man we raised any longer.<P>My YS is not getting the foundation of believes that my OS did either. <P>I hurt each & every day over this. I would like to think that my faith will with stand this chaos is that is my life, that I will get my children back on track. But I keep wondering when will God answer my prayers for my family, for my H, & even for the OW. <BR>I have admit some of my prayers for her haven't been very nice.<P>Guess I haven't helped you much but you know that you aren't the only one who wonders.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by sing (edited December 12, 2000).]

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Aloha BradTheDad,<P>Yes, as a Christian since I was 14 (I'm 44), I have spent the whole last year questioning God and doubting my faith and my ability to hear Him (still am).<P>I too ask all the "why" questions. And I still have anger with Him sometimes, because I have put my faith and trust in Him for as long as I remember and I don't feel that what has happened is what I deserve. How can I ever trust again....trust Him, trust anyone? Was the marriage that I had for 11 years, and for which I was sure we heard His voice to join into, a fraud? If I mis-heard Him about that, then what else have I not heard Him on? Makes me question the whole past 11 years....<P>Mostly I feel that I don't deserve this. I have always tried to follow Him and do the right thing. I made some tough choices in my life, knowing I was doing the right thing, not the easy thing.<P>Then I heard something on the radio the other day which made me start thinking. If we were given everything we deserve, not one of us would be able to make it thru the day without punishment. If I was punished everytime I sped, told a little-white lie or cussed under my breath, that would be what I deserve. But I don't get punished. I didn't get what I deserved. That's God's grace. And the same with this...sometimes things happen which we don't deserve...good or bad. <P>I don't understand why it happened. I don't understand how God call allow so many of His children to experience this kind of pain (let alone all the other pain in the world that people have). But I'm starting to see that I don't have to understand....I just have to believe. Can I still believe Him even without understanding? Believe that God is still in control. Believe that God can still bring something beautiful into my life. Believe that He will again restore my self-image, heal my emotions and again allow me to trust again. It seems unbelievable right now that any of that can happen. But I want to be in the right place (God's hands) at the right time (God's time) if they do.<P>I don't know if that helps, but you are not alone in your doubts. Read the Psalms. David struggled big-time with doubt. He questioned God all the time. Maybe his words could bring you some comfort.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

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BRAD THE DAD,<P> I DID NOT QUESTION IF THERE WAS A GOD. I ALSO HAD MANY VISIONS OF MY H AFFAIR, IN DREAMS. BEFORE I EVEN KNEW ABOUT H A. I DREAMED WE WERE IN DIVORCE COURT AND I LOOKED AT MY H, AND HE LOOKED INDIFFERENT.<P> HE WAS AT THAT TIME CONTEPLATING A. I KNOW NOW. 1 YEAR LATER.<P> DD FOR ME WAS MARCH 18TH. I HAD MANY VISIONS DURING THE PERIOD OF MY KNOWING AND HIS BEING TURNED AWAY. HE AND I ARE BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS. GOD TOLD ME IN MY DREAMS TO STAY OUT OF WAY, DID NOT REALLY CONCERN ME. MY H HAD ALLOWED SOME DEVIL TO GET IN AND NOW GOD AND EVIL WERE FIGHTING FOR CONTROL OF MY H. GOD WON. I EVEN TOLD MY H ABOUT THE DREAMS AS THEY CAME ABOUT. HE THOUGHT THEY WERE ODD. HE SEEN RED EYES IN OW. MY H ALWAYS CLAIMED HE COULD SEE EVIL PEOPLE. RED EYES OR SNAKE COMING OUT OF MOUTHS. <BR> I AM ALIVE TODAY BECAUSE OF GOD <P>------------------<BR>Deb

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OH FORGOT TO AD OW NON-BELIEVER.<P> GOD GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF LOVE. YOU LOVE OTHERS.<P>------------------<BR>Deb

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Brad the DAD,<BR> <BR>I came to MB a year ago as a betrayer(remorseful, angry, and full of guilt) and since then, I am also the betrayed. I use to post alot over here, now I usually hang out on the D/D board. My divorce seems inevitable [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Still mostly a lurker. <P>But I feel exactly where you are coming from about your faith.<P>I posted a thread on the other board reference unconditional love. The issue of faith however became a intereseting topic however. I believe some of what the others have said may help you as well.....<P>here's the link if you're interested: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001631.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001631.html</A> <P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com<p>[This message has been edited by jamie-lee (edited December 12, 2000).]

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Brad: This is just my opinion. I do not<BR>believe God has anything to do with it.<BR>You have free will and seemingly selected<BR>the wrong woman for marriage. Why is it<BR>God's fault? We are all human and make wrong<BR>choices from time to time. The question is<BR>what do you do about it now. God did not <BR>force you to fall in love and marry this<BR>woman.

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Brad if you'd like to talk please let me know. I was at one time the WS and my ex husband did exactly what your thinking about doing. Filed for divorce....did it immediately. I think in some ways he felt a lot like you do only he didn't/couldn't express it as well as you are. Please Brad, DO NOT make any decisions while you are hurting. I need to go for today but I hope to see you on the board tomorrow.


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