Hello everyone!<P> I put a picture up the MB Picture site #2 if anyone is interested. It was our vow renewal right after discovery when I had no idea of the journey I was about to take.<P>But after 2 1/2 years and 6 seperations and many false recoverys we are really moving forward. It feels so good to have happiness again. Real happiness.<P>It has been 5 months since they ended it and 4 months since no contact at all.<P>He is bringing me flowers and wonderful sentimental cards for no reason and it is wonderful. He brought me home a card the other day saying "I have everything I need in life, I have you". I cried with happiness.<P>I really questioned myself for a while if I was doing the right thing, because of course things were still bumpy, but I can tell you now that I am not in the least sorry I stuck it with. My real husband is back.<P>So it can be done. Ours was one of the extreme cases, but I knew all along what I wanted, so I worked hard on myself and stuck with it and now it is all coming back to me. You really do get what you give.<P>So Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all find the joy in your life that you have been working for, just like I did!<P>Lilly<P>------------------<BR>Lilly

Lilly,,<P>Thanks for your message of hope. May your marriage continue to grow & bring much happiness to you & your H. Merry Christmas.

Hi Lilly,<P>Wonderful to see you here and hear your continued good news! You deserve all of it. I can't wait to check out those pics! <P>I wish I had a similar report, but in their own way, things are OK here. H has been living in another city since Feb, and we started negotiating legal separation in Sept. - mostly for financial reasons, but also so that I could have everything in line for a plan B. We have finished the mediation and just need to file it now. OW is still in the picture but has not moved in with him. He swears to me that he is not able to commit to anyone right now (me or OW or anybody). He is in counseling and comes to see the kids a couple of times a month. He has bought his own place and my 2 year discovery anniversary comes this Jan.<P>As for me, our house here is now "my" house. I have good friends and my wonderful kids. I miss him still so much and the holidays without him this year are hard. I do my best to focus on me, but the full time single mom stuff, while rewarding, is exhausting. I wish things were different.<P>I plan to reassess in January where to go with this. I've always failed at plan b though that is what everyone here recommends. I've got to find my own way on this.<P>Good luck to you and your H Lilly. I was so touched to see your name.<P>Take care,<BR>Starpony

Lilly,<P>I could kiss you for posting this wonderful news. I have thought of you often !<P><P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Sing,<BR>Thank you for your nice wishes. I hope you find happiness too!<P>Bozos_Deb,<BR>I would take that kiss! I've thought of you often too. I've read of your illness and hope and pray you are feeling okay. It must not be easy living with that. Thank you for responding.<P>Starpony,<BR>I was thinking of you and then I saw your name on the picture site and I was hoping to hear how you are.<P>I'm glad you are okay, know about doing the kid thing alone and can only imagine how hard the holidays must be. Good to hear you have a nice home and friends to be with you.<P>You do have to find your own way. Only you know what is right for you. I'm a plan B failure myself, the longest I lasted was 3 days with no contact at all. I remember me asking everyone here. Can I answer his e-mails? No one was real sure and I just did it anyways. <P>But by the end I had A perfected and still do and plan to live that way, because I am receiving it back now tenfold! It is so wonderful having a happy, loving family again. Everything is pulling together at last.<P>Well, I am still holding out big hopes for you because you are wonderful and he would be a fool to miss out on life with you!<P>Lilly<P><BR>------------------<BR>Lilly<p>[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited December 14, 2000).]

Lilly, Starpony, Deb...<BR>So good to see all your names.<P>Lilly--I'm so glad things are going well for you. I know a little too much about the multiple separations and wondering if this is the time it will work. We've been together now since May, solidly together since Aug. We continue to work on meeting each other's needs...and he doesn't walk out. Right now, I think that is my biggest fear, that he'll just walk out again after the holidays, as he did the past 2 years. How are you handling that fear, if you have it?--and hopefully you don't!<P>Starpony--this has been such a long road for you. I hold out hope that your H's fog will lift.<P>Deb--you & I stepped to the brink of divorce at about the same time, and stepped back again. How are you and Mike?<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Lor (Lor),<P>Hi, I've been following your progress and you did very well at the parties. I could not have handled that yet. We have had two encounters of just seeing her and that was enough for me.<P>I do have that fear and it was affecting me somewhat and I decided I just would not worry about that until if and when it happened because worrying will do no good at all. <P> I try and focus on things he says about our future and the good things happening now.<BR>One thing I have learned through all this is the only thing you can control is yourself.<P>I think little by little as we conquer each of these fears and see that they are not going to happen again we will stop having them. We do have a lot of these don't we?<P>Lilly<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lor (Lor):<BR><B>Deb--you & I stepped to the brink of divorce at about the same time, and stepped back again. How are you and Mike?<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Lor, I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me ! <P>We're ok for the moment, I think. Getting ready for Christmas.<P>

Lilly,<P>I don't know your whole story, but just wanted to wish you the best, and let you know that your post is an inspiration for the rest of us that fight for our marriages and sometimes wonder if we are crazy to think it can work, or even wonder if it is hopeless. Reading posts like yours helps alot. All the best to you.

Merry Christmas Lilly...<BR>and all of my friends.<BR>I'm so glad to see an update.<BR>Keep up the good work. <P><P>------------------<BR>wassi

Rick37,<P>Its nice to be an inspiration to anybody at last. This site has been an inspiration to me. It was where I first started to grow when this all began. My roller coaster has stopped going down for so long and it is so nice and I hope everyone reaches this point.<P>Wassi!<P>How nice to hear from you. I will keep up the good work. It doesn't even feel like work really. I hope you are enjoying the holidays. <P>Lilli

Hi trustandtruth,<BR>Thanks for your smilies! I hope all is well with you!