My dear friends,<P>Today was to be the day... (most likely)...<P>========UPDATE========<BR>...if you go near the bottom of this page... <BR>...the divorce did <B>NOT</B> happen!<BR>========UPDATE========<P>...I was really OK with the idea of the divorce...<BR>...even though it was to happen before I made it to a formal Plan B...<P>...Plan B will be my next step.<P>God bless you all for the wonderful support you have given me... and to each other.<BR>Holidays are a tough time...<BR>...give each other your loving support.<P>I will fill you all in... when I get back.<BR>Well....<BR>========UPDATE========<BR>...check the bottom for an update<BR>========UPDATE========<P><B>All</B> of you will be <B>always</B> in my mind and heart.<P> <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 20, 2000).]

Jim - we're all with you today. Be strong. You can be confident that you did what you could and now you can go forward without regret.<P>WAT

Jim<BR>It is such a pity that this has to happen at this time of the year for someone who has done so much good. <P>My thoughts are with you as are those of the hundreds of others that you have supported in this forum in the past.<P>Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are and what you have become through all of this. <P>I wish you all the very best. <BR>Colin <P>

<B>Jim</B><P>I am praying for you and your family. I am so sorry that this is all taking about at this time of the year. <P>You fought a mighty battle and have helped each and everyone one of us here in one way or another. You are truly a gem. I just can't understand why your wife doesn't see that yet? I know someday she will be filled with so much regret.<P>Again praying for you! My thoughts are with you too. Big <B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NSR}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>Much love,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>Pray and praise the Lord, let Him handle it. All things are possible with God. Even healing our marriages. <P>Samantha</B><BR><p>[This message has been edited by it's me Samantha (edited December 20, 2000).]

Best of luck to you today, Jim. You've set a wonderful example for many of us, and I am grateful for that. You'll do just fine today! And thanks for all of the advice - it is greatly appreciated!<P>CB

NSR -<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you today, as they are everyday!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>lizzie

Hi Jim,<P>My prayers are with you today. God bless.

Jim,<P>Unfortunatley, you are blazing the path for so many of us here. I know you will use your knowledge to educate us. It always feels a little better to know what the next step is, and you've already helped me with that.<P>Just remember, we are all, in spirit, standing there behind you in that courtroom. I hope you feel our many hands on your shoulder...supporting you, as you do us.<P>allison

I'm there with you, too Jim.<P>This is merely another step that is needed on your path.....<P>I received an anonymous postcard in the mail when H first left that had a very important message.....I'd like to share it.......<P>"Never put a period where God has placed a comma!!!"<P>Have no idea....even now 1 1/2 years later....who sent that to me. <P>BIG HUGS and Love Ya,<P>Sheba

Thanks of everyone's kind words and thoughts...<P><B>WAT</B>,<BR><B>Colin</B>,<BR><B>Samantha</B>,<BR><B>CB</B>,<BR><B>SKM</B>,<BR><B>lizzie</B>,<BR><B>K</B>,<BR><B>allison</B>,<BR>and <B>Sheba</B>...<P>Well... I'm back from court...<BR>...and it wasn't the result I expected.<P>First... she (my W) didn't show up again... <BR>Second... our outstanding issue... has kept her from signing the papers...<P><B>issue:</B> to keep raising the kids in the religion they grew up in... I grew up in... and even my W grew up in (and taught religious education in!)... <BR><B><I>NOW</I></B>... she wants to raise them in the faith of her paramour... when she gets them for her eow visitation.<BR>JFYI <B>WAT</B>... I'm in the reverse situation... I'm Catholic and my W's OM is Methodist... but I honestly hear where you're coming from too...<BR>...and, believe it or not... I feel for you... (you know I do... friend!)<P>Sooooooo...<P>I'm not divorced today... <P>...but ...a new trial date is now set for March 19, 2001.<P>There is an outside chance she may change her mind and sign...<BR>...but that is unlikely...<BR>...from my understanding of her intent/attitude.<P>-She will be penalized... a few $$$<BR>-Her attorney is asking to now longer represent her... is owed ~$10K in legal fees...<BR>......I guess her OM isn't contributing anything to help her...<BR>......some things haven't changed much in their relationship...<BR>......if you remember my nickname for him ("sponge")... it still fits.<BR>-We go back to ground zero on all issues<BR>-Final court briefs are due March 1st. (whether she has a new attorney or not)<P>My Plan B will now come before the divorce...<BR>...most likely after the holidays...<BR>...(like what I suggest to most of you... right... )<BR>------------------------------------------<P>Side note:<P>Most of you know I am NOT supersitious...<BR>...or believe in omens... ...luck... or the like...<P>...but last night...<BR>...one of the 2 birds (my sons) died...<BR>...I felt so bad for the other bird...<BR>......I clean out the cage...<BR>......fresh food... water... toys... etc.<BR>......they (birds) were so affectionate with each other...<P>...and then...<BR>...this morning...<BR>...I found the second bird also died...<BR>.......loniness??? ...fate???<P>I'll be breaking the news gently to my son...<P>I almost thought... for a second...<BR>...there was some significance in it.<P>Now I know...<BR>...it just means for me to love my kids a little more.<P>--------------------------------------------<P>Thanks again... to you all!<P>For those who don't know my story/facts...<BR>...check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Profiles</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call</A>.<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<P>Your story is like a bad soap opera---way too many twists and turns.<P>How do you feel about the delay? How much contact do you have with your wife? Are you thinking about formalizing a "Plan B" effort, or can you deal with the current level of contact in a "Plan A" mode?<P>Enough with the questions... <P>I'm sorry to hear about your son's birds. Perhaps after the holiday's the two of you should go out and get another pair. It's a good "father/son" thing. Speaking of which, I'm making Christmas cookies with the kids tonight!!! It ought to be frosting-covered fun.<P>God bless.

NSR - Your update - about the birds - made me cry. Heck, everything makes me cry nowadays. I'm Catholic, too, so I guess I just wanted to say, I don't know, what I'm trying to say. <P>I don't believe in luck or omens either, but sometimes, you just want a sign. You pray that God gives you a sign that you are doing the right thing. I look for them too. But, you have tried everything under the sun. You've prayed. Don't look for signs, just pray and listen - just listen for God talk to your heart. I think he is oh so proud of you - for enduring so much.<P>Love your kids, but love yourself too - you're really an inspiration to me, and I really feel for you. I hope you have a safe and happy holiday.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>My heart goes out to you and your kids. You're a wonderful person. <P>Take care and God Bless!!!!!<P>Me

Jim,<BR>I'm sorry for you, About everything you have been through. <BR>For all the compassion, understanding and guidance you have shared with us here at MB we’ll buy you a flock of birds. (I know you really don’t that many to feed) but we would just for the asking.<BR>

Jim, <BR>My prayers are with you and your family. I saw your post early this morning and had a strange feeling that this final thing would not go through today. I don't know why when I read your post this morning I felt that way. But when I came back to my desk after half day training and saw your updates, it just amazed me. I have a goose bump right now.<P>Jim, you are strong man and I admire what you are doing right now despite all the thing happenned to you. You're the best.<P>Take care.<P>OOOO

Have you checked your home for gas?

<B>K</B>,<BR>Yep... and awful soap opera.<P>"How do you feel about the delay?"...<BR>...I'm OK with it. If Chris can take it... so can I!<P>"How much contact do you have with your wife?"...<BR>...virtually none...<BR>...on the phone... it's usually "let me talk to the kids" from her...<BR>...but I snuck in an "...I love you last week"... (yeah... probably a LB)<P>"Are you thinking about formalizing a 'Plan B' effort, or can you deal with the current level of contact in a "Plan A" mode?"...<BR>...I think it's time for Plan B....<BR>...letter to go out after the holidays.<BR>...I expect the SS problems to engulf her by then...<BR>......and the hassels of finding a new attorney to put even more stress on her.<P>The pets...<BR>...will be replaced sometime after the holidays.<BR>...he handled it better than I thought.<P><B>SKM</B>,<BR>"just pray and listen - just listen for God talk to your heart."...<BR>...I've learned ...and I will listen with an open heart. <P><B>JustMe4Now</B>,<BR>Thank you...<BR>...for your wishes for me and my kids.<P><B>oswald</B>,<BR>...I'm not sure my son wants birds again<BR>...he's thinking of some other kind of pet...<BR>...but may go back to birds.<BR>...It will be his decision.<BR>......Please no flocks... (too much to clean up)<BR>You're so kind.<P><B>OOOO</B>,<BR>You never know...<BR>...she still might decide to sign.<BR>(but I doubt it!)<BR>Instinct... it can go a long way sometimes!<P><B>engineer_bob</B>,<BR>Yep... all's OK as far as the gas...<BR>They have lived quite a while (relative to other birds we've had...)<BR>It was just their time.<P>----------------------------------------<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim,<P>Just a brief note to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. Perhaps a birdfeeder for the wild birds in the neighborhood would be a fitting tribute to the departed pets, if you don't already have one. We put some seed out last week for the birds, and it's such a joy watching them. And, the squirrel!! We get tons of cardinals in the wintertime-- my favorite bird!

Jim, you've been so supportive of myself and others here...its rough to hear what your going through! <P>Around the time of your next court date, I should be finding out about my own hearing...here's to both of us never seeing the judge!<P>And in the interest of levity...<P>It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings...and stays for two more encores...and signs autographs backstage...and goes out for a few drinks with her tour manager...and gets recognized in the hotel lobby and spends more time signing autographs and taking pictures...and goes up to her hotel room and watches whatever happens to be on HBO...and finally, maybe its over...BUT NOT YET!!!