My H moved out 10 days prior to this letter he wrote. He came to get the rest of his stuff out of the house because when he left he only took some clothes for a week. He came back when no one was home and took his stuff. At this point there was no OW...<P>Diane,<P>As you can see I got my things. It may seem ****ty that I did this without you or the kids here, And I do apologize for that. I think that it is best for it to be done this way.<BR>I only want what is best for you as well as myself. I do not have the emotional strength to give you the things you need. I have to leave. It is the only right thing for any of us in this house. I cannot expect you to understand the decisions I made. I am still changing mentally and emotionally. I never meant to hurt you but, that seems to be all I do. Looking back on what we have both done to each other was wrong. I do not mean to sound cold or distant but that is how I feel. I never meant to hurt the kids, it seems lately that I have not had a good relationship with them. In time I will mend my relationship with them when I have stability in my life. I want to be the best for them also.<BR>As far as our friends go right now I have not spoken to anyone. I will when I feel the time is right. I feel it is best for me to not have any disractions or negativity in my life. I don't want to fight anyone anymore, It makes me feel horrible arguing and not being happy. I am growing happy within myself right now. I am alone and I am fine with that. I am not scared for once in my life in the decisions I am making or have made.<P>I got my real estate package in the mail the other day so I will be focusing on that for my future and the future of the kids. <P>As of yesterday I have been sober 1 month and I don't feel like I know who I am yet. I still dont fit in too well anywhere I go. I am more focused at work due to my sobriety and the need to keep my job.<P>I hope that some of this makes a little sense to you now. I don't want to be against you. I don't want to battle you or be defensive anymore. We can be friends in time. Right now I need to be alone. I am sorry for not being able to be what you want right now in your life. But that is how it must be. <P>Sincerely<P>Let me add that 1 month after this letter is when he got involved with his co-worker who I may add was the one who was helping him through everything. She of course was his sounding board and made sure he was eating. She also lent him furniture for his new apt. <P><BR>2 MONTHS BEFORE HE MOVED HE GAVE ME THIS REALLY SWEET CARD A BOUT THE abc"S OF A RELATIONSHIP. HOW CAN I BELIEVE HE HAD BEEN NAKING THE DECISION TO LEAVE FOR A YEAR. MY ANNIVERSARY CARD WAS SO EMOTIONAL AND SAID HERE IS LOOKING TO MANY MORE YEARS TOGETHER.<P>CONFUSION....<BR>

Diane...<P>Please try and accept...<BR>...that this co-worker...<BR>...can be an OW!<P>An emotional affair(EA) counts as an <B>affair</B>!<P>If she has had influence on him...<BR>...if she has helped in in alcohol recovery...<BR>...he may be feeling a debt of gratitude toward her...<BR>...just enough to spark and sustain and EA!<P>Think it through...<BR>...and let us know what you think!<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<P>Yes I know that there was some EAffairing going on before he left. Which makes it easier for me because I know he was in the FOG when he left. She is replacing the alcohol as well as his leaving the family. I know he is on a high right now. Once he got settled in and with her there by his side to help him and mother him through this rough spot he became attracted and started the PA. Now with all of this in mind I know he has not stopped loving me, and I know that I have to continue with Plan A.<P>You never stated what your opinion of his letter was..<P>P.S have you gone to court yet?<BR>Hope your day is going good.<BR>Thank you for your thoughts and guidance..<P>Diana

Diana,<P>I have a post about my court day... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/006838.html" TARGET=_blank>Leaving for court</A><BR>...it could have gone better...<BR>...but...<P>...I'm not divorced! ...yet!<P>------------------------------------------<P>About you H's letter...<P>...it's pure "fog"-bound!<BR>...and the signs are that it will last a while longer!<P>Hang tough....<BR>...<B>you are loved</B>!<P> <P>Jim