I'm sick and tired and tired and sick haha, but seriously working on a marriage just never ends, does it...<P>We have moved forward since April and May, and now it feels like we started the bad times where we left off.<P>I have started working again, and he has started coming home late again. Last minute overnight trips. Leaving the house and saying he is going one place, but going another. I've caught him in a few lies.<P>Went to the windows file, and see that two nights this week he has got up after we've gone to bed so he can spend an hour or so on the porn sites.<P>It has been going steadily downhill since Thanksgiving - or maybe, the week before Thanksgiving. All of our stinkin' holidays revolve around his family. All of my husband's social life revolves around his family. The family are a bunch of backstabbers - and I am polite but do not participate and I dread it everytime there is any interaction with 1) his daughters, 2) his family 3) his X 4) people in town who know about his affair but think I don't 5) anything to do with associations to his affair.<P>Which is pretty inclusive of my husband's entire life, because we live across the street from OW's mother, and OW lives down the street, this is a town of 152, She and her relatives are 95% of all residents, and I am sick and tired and tired and sick of all of this!<P>We bought a lake house 5 miles away (which my husband is almost having an anxiety attack because he will be a whole 5 miles away from his social life in this stinking little town.)<P>I know, plan A, communication skills, etc. etc. Just want to vent. I want to scream. I want to do like Santa did when he got frustrated... (you know why the angel sits on top of the tree dontcha?)<P>It has been 1 year since a "partial D-day" (because H only admits to an almost mistake, not a full affair) and the dishonesty continues to make me feel like the marriage is a joke. <P>Thanks for letting me vent.<BR>TNT<P>

TNT,<BR>Is a vacation alone with the H an option? You need a break of some sort.<P>I feel for you. I don't know if I would survive in the environment you are describing--I mean, I had conniptions over a party where the OW was, yours is on your street.<P>This is a terribly stressful time of year--Halloween to Valentines...maybe even Easter on those March years...<P>Same old standby advice, take some time for you and the two of you as a couple. I really think that when a couple does the 15 hours a week together, there just isn't time for funny business.<P>Did you keep a journal of the time when you got everything aligned in your mind? Or was there a book that has helped in the past?<P>I wish I could do more. Take care, Sweetie.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{TNT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

<B>Hey there TNT</B><P>Haven't heard from you in a while and I am so sorry that it is a story like this that brings you here. Part of it is that time of year, just like Lor says. From September until the beginning of March for me. Add that with the normal holiday stress and wow I am as stable as a three legged giraffe (husband's discription of me). <P>I will naturally pray for you and tell you not to give up, keep up your good work. Lay it at the Lord's feet. You are doing wonderful, just looks like your hubby is going to need a bit of time to catch up.<P>I believe I will be online tonight, so if you want to do the chat thing, please find me. You know all the ways. <P>Love you honey, please take care of you! You are very special cargo! <P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{TNT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>------------------<BR><B>Pray and praise the Lord, let Him handle it. All things are possible with God. Even healing our marriages. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by it's me Samantha (edited December 21, 2000).]

TnT...yes, Take Care!<P>Is your H having a difficult time at work or is there a problem bugging him in some other area of life?<P>I hope its just a little Holiday bump. How is your son?

TNT -- I am so sorry to read this latest news. It's bad enough that so many find reason to come to this site, but when I see another old timer having to continue to endure the pain and humiliation. . .It breaks my heart.<P>My thoughts and prayers go out to you my friend.