HELP PLEASE<P>I have been married 13 years and have two children under 5 years old. My husband has never had a very strong sex drive and we were married almost 10 years before we had children. I used to beg and plead with him to have sex with me, but I heard every excuse imaginable. Needless to say my self-esteem started to drop. We went as long as 12 -18 months without sex. When we were married 7 years I had an affair which lasted for about a year. After the affair was over I left my Husband and went for counselling and read many self help books. My husband does not know about the affair. I came back and we agreed to try again, one year later we started our family. He refused to have sex with me while I was pregnant and again one year plus went by with me nagging and begging for sex and excuses again. In summer of 1999 I discovered a box with porn magazines and videos that he has kept since before we were married. He admitted that he started when he was in high school, and I had no idea. He threw it all away and he went for counselling and told me he was not addicted and he would never do it again. Well guess what we got the internet and I tracked him for 2 months and he was on sex sites every opportunity he had. I confronted him and he also said he bought some more magazines. We separated for a month and I let him back because of the kids.<BR>I don't feel any love towards him and I can't imagine making love to him, my self esteem is very low, I lost all respect for him, if it wasn't for the kids I would be divorced for sure.<P>Do I stay just for the kids in a loveless marriage? I am very resentful of what he did to me for so many years. I am now on anti-depressants <BR>Help <P>[This message has been edited by unlucky13 (edited December 21, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by unlucky13 (edited December 23, 2000).]