I heard this story about my BILs ex girlfriend Sherri.<P>She was living with my BIL for quite awhile, bought a house together, was part of the family. Then she started to see a MM. <P>Eventually she broke up with BIL and MM broke up his family and they were married. She was so sure about him, was going to have babies and he had a better job than BIL so was going to support her while she did. This was one of the reasons that she gave for leaving BIL.<P>So now, several years later I hear an update. She is very unhappy. Her MM, now H quit his job so he didnt have to pay child support to his XW (nice guy) She has to work to support them both. No children, and I would hope she would think twice about having them with a man who would do that to his first children.<P>I felt sad, because she was my favorite of BIL many girlfriends. But then again, its another example of how well affairs work out.<P>Lora

Hi Lora,<P>Thanks for the story. Ya know, how many times I hear stories like this how many times people say relationship which started from A can't last, I still have to see with my own eyes when that happens to my stbx.<P>How are you, Lora? I'm not feeling too bad.. today I went for shopping but didn't buy anything hopefully find something at Boxing Day Sale(26th)..<P>Tomorrow I'm going out with my friends, so it should be fun. On Christmas Day I don't have any plan, so thinking of making great dinner and enjoy it(well... alone). But I think I'm ok, at least my H isn't with me like last year and he didn't want to be with me but I'm sure he felt obligated. He didn't even give me anything, so this time he's not here and I'm not expecting so it's good..<P>Hope you have fun at in-laws..<P>Hugs,<P>Meg

I know how you feel Meg,<P>Somehow our spouses have even convinced us that they are different, that their new relationship was Meant to be and will be happily ever after. That it was all our fault, so if they start over with a new person, there won't be any problems, right?<P>Somehow its easier to see another persons situation with more clarity than our own. Mine is too close, too painful, and I feel too responsible for every wrong I ever did in it.<P>I am nervous again about maybe seeing H on Christmas day. This time I am sort of prepared for him to not show, so he will probably be there. He always manages to do what I am not planing on.<P>I hope you have a wonderful christmas. I am going shopping tomorrow at a sale where everything is $21. I hope I can control myself. <BR>Lora<P>

Lora,<P>Thanks.<P>I know we all did something wrong, but I still believe NO ONE deserves this kind of treatment. Nothing can justify our spouses behavior.. Heck I feel I should be the one who's having an A after him treating me like the way he did!<P>Anyway.. I'm looking forward to hearing about the update, which the list of things you buy tomorrow!<P>Have lots of fun, Lora!<P>Meg

Do you think that this story is the exception or the rule? When I first came here all I read was that affairs never last but I haven't seen much proof of it. I started in June of '96 when she told me she was in love with a co-worker. They have since broke up two marriages .....