Well here it is my first Christmas without H. My sister and my kids are here, I have been calling friends and family to wish them a Merry Christmas and take my mind off of things.<P>Well to my suprise H calls.. He was very cold and just said "well I wanted to call and say Merry Christmas to the kids". He was calling from OW cell phone. They went away for the holidays. I told him that his mother and his stepfather called today. He said "oh well I gotta go"..<P>How could a man who spent 13 years of his life with me be such a jerk? I am now angry and wish would have never called. I know it was good for the kids to know he did but, I feel lousy now.<P>This is so painful and I feel like vomiting right now. Well I just needed to come and vent..<BR>Hope everyone else is having a better day..<P>Diana

((((((((((Goochy))))))))))<P>I'm sorry about your H acting like a jerk.<BR>But you are surrounded by people who care about you and people you love and that's the important part. So for now forget about your H.<BR>I think you are having a better Christmas than I. I'm spending here alone and cleaning!! <BR>Well, my H e-mailed me just saying Merry Christmas(well I don't know if he was a jerk or not when he wrote this since I can't see his face )<P>Hope the rest of the day will be fun for you.<P>Meg

Goochy,<P>How are you doing now? I know how these calls or other quick events can suddenly rock your world. I was at my WS place tonight for Xmas dinner, and I saw 2 adult toothbrushes in the bathroom. Now, I have 2 as well, but nevertheless it bothered me, because one could be OMs. <P>You just don't know what your H is thinking. My wife was a cranky, nasty, selfish bear the past several days. Seems depressed and angry at everyone/everything. Her calls really got to me too.<P>I bet that your H feels bad about not being there for Xmas with the kids. That must really drive the WS wild inside, I would think.<P>Enjoy that you have them, and make the best of it all. Try not to let one event affect you too much. There will be lots of them. Try and think of it as a constant state of the WS that will often provide annoyances. If you anticipate these types of calls and general downers, then I think it isn't quite as bad. Maybe that is just me.<P>As to why someone that you were with for 13 years can treat you like that, just think of the fog. They do awful things. I look at my wife too, and wonder who this person is, and where my wife went.<P>Hang in there.

Thanks guys.. I actually watched a movie and did some laundry today took my mind off of things. I had a very long conversation with my MIL. I have not spoke to her in years. She is doing well, got married and now is facing cancer. Her spirits were good though. My H does not know and she does not want him to find out until they run more test. Right now is probably not the best time to tell him. He and his mother do not talk much. While he is in the fog it probably wont even phase him. Well thanks for the reply I am gonna go wrap H gifts, he is seeing the kids tomorrow. <P>Diana

My H has been gone for 2 Christmases, 2 Thanksgivings, and 12 kids' birthdays - he came to celebrate the first birthday that occurred after he left, but since then has not called the children on any of those occasions.

Goochy,<P>Glad your day got better. <P>Hope your day tomorrow when H sees the kids goes well. Good Luck. Know that you are being thought about.<P>

Thanks I think when he shows up tomorrow I am gonna be ready to leave for work. Don't want to have to much contact with him. I am sure the kids will have fun. I am glad this day is over!!!!!<P>Moving on I actually think today was good for me cause I have realized that he is definetly in a Fog and I have to just move on for now.<P>I bought him some nice gifts nothing to big.. *I bought some picture frames and put pics of him and the kids in them, got him a watch from the kids, and a concert shirt from one of our favorite bands we used to go see. Wanted to keep it simple but sentimental...<P>I am sure he did not even get me a card. Not even a thanks for the 13 years. Oh well... <P>Gonna get some sleep don't want to be cranky in the morn..<P>Night All<P>Diana

Hey, I think your plan sounds good, hope it goes how you want. <P>Think your gifts were good also. I know that I have been bringing up good memories a lot, like do you remember when.....<P>I didn't get card either, I got gifts but they were from the kids but H was behind them all, digtal camera, & half day to spa. I did gifts to H, from the boys & I had him one, but really never said it was from me, but he liked it. <P>

When I had my consultation with S. Harley he said to make sure I bought something for H from me. My H has no family that he keeps contact with My kids and I are it. He may have gotten a nice gift from OW but the personal stuff is what he is going to cherish. I know H better then she so I know exactly what to buy. I even put our nicknames on the tag to Mooch from Gooch. It is a funny story how we got those nicknames and everyone calls us that.. I am sure he may feel awkward but in time he will see the sentiment. Can't hurt to try. I think I have done enough gift giving I now am on to EN part.. He has the message that I still love him so now I need to back off and just keep positive. However anniversary is next month so I need to think of a small little gift that is heart felt. I have a few ideas.<P>Isn't there a magical fairy dust call OW BEGONE? lol...<P>

OW BEGONE<P>Can I buy some?

Let me know if you find some OW BEGONE! It would have to be really magical in my case, as H just left for Europe with OW for 9 days.

Well if not OW BEGONE I have friend who has a friend!!! lol<P>Diana