OK OK! I know that I've missed the boat on this one (big time I'm sure). <BR>I keep hearing about this fog thing. Is it the fantacy that WS and OP are in. What really happens when it lifts. <BR>I can't afford to keep missing things. My "H" gave the OW no-contact letter a few days ago. So I'm also needing help knowing what to do now. We don't live together, our kids are grown and gone, so what do I expect now? I know depression is common for those who leave the OP. HELP!?

Fog is the term that does refer to the fantasy world that the WS and OP live in. The WS says and does things that, once the fog lifts, they often can't believe they did. Said differently, it is the WS acting irrational, unreasonable, and impulsively, usually while experiencing that in love feeling that goes with an affair. They can give up everything to hang onto their new found happiness.<P>Since your H has sent a no contact letter, you should read as much as you can about Plan A, ENs (emotional needs), and LB (love busters). If you have questions, ask.<P>Find everything you can about recovery too, in the event that this is what happens. I'm not sure where you are at. But for sure, Plan A is in order.<P>The books Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs are excellent, from this website.<P>Even after dropping the OP, depression, withdrawal, and more fog are possible. It doesn't mean they'll suddenly want you back.<P>You may know alot of this already. Good luck.

Another good response from the past...<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/004885.html" TARGET=_blank>WS or anyone--what is "the fog"?</A>.<P> <P>Jim

Rick37, <BR>Thanks, I think I've got it now. I will re-read plan-A-ing and LB's.<P>He says he wants our marriage to work. He's away for a few days...Sorting his head out. he did deliver the no contact letter. She called ME today---Yuk...it was short on my part and to the point.<P>Thanks to all again! D/2000<P>NSR, <BR>Thank you too. Read and printed the thread you refered me to. I'm a good student so I'll get to it now...before he gets back.

Dear, you helped me when I was down, but I simply don't know how to answer to your question.<BR>My H is definetly in the fog-I think it is the period when he can not see anything except OW and when the fog starts to lift he sees you as a person who were always by him, who were patiente, who were full of love and he for sure NOW feel guilt for what he did. But don't expect that everything is over with that letter . there would be for sure hard withdrawal moments but i think the most important is that he made this crucial step. I am not religious but I'll pray for you, and continue to hope that my H will come out of the fog one day If 15 months are not too long.<P>Keep going on and do not some downs discourage you.

I was in that fog for 6 months, and I can tell you that I did and said things that I'd never have done otherwise. I even thought I was in love with the OP.<P>It is a fantasy world, totally unrealistic - but that feeling of being in love (even when that's not what it is) is very hard to let go of.<P>I'm now out of the fog and can see clearly all the pain I've caused my H - and I wonder how I could have done the things I did. The person I see in the mirror now is a stranger to me, and I don't like her very much.<P>I hope your H's OW will respect the no-contact letter and leave the both of you alone.