My H is due home this afternoon (flight was cancelled yesterday) and I'm starting to come unglued.<P>I'm absolutely terrified about what's going to happen when he walks in the door. I thought I would be able to handle it, but now I'm not so sure. If he tells me he wants a divorce I'll fall apart. I love him so much - I just wish it didn't take what happened to make me realize it.<P>Any advice??<BR>

Susie - Be strong. Take some deep breaths and face him with the strengh you now have that you know you've recognized your errors. The truth will set you free.<P>Know that we are pulling for you both and at the first opportunity, send him here to talk to us.<P>WAT

As a BS, the best advice I can give you, is to make this homecoming ABOUT HIM.<P>Acknowledge his pain. Acknowledge his needs. Acknowledge his right to feel anger. Acknowlegde his confusion.<P>Ask what HE NEEDS to feel better.<P>And then, AFTER you've discussed what he needs, gently explain what you want for the TWO of you...what direction you want to move in. Explain what YOU NEED.<P>Agree to MEET EACH OTHER'S NEEDS. Together. MUTUALLY AGREE TO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. MUTUALLY AGREE TO GIVE EACH OTHER WHAT YOU BOTH NEED.<P>Agree to love...now and forever...like you did in the beginning.<P>Peace to you and your H! ~Marie<P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown

Susie,<P>I know how you feel. Try not to have any expectations. I know that is hard. As a matter of fact my husband and I were discussing this same thing this morning.<P>My H wants to know how I came to realize that I wanted him and not the OM. He thinks it as unfair that since I now want the relationship to work, it places an unfair burden on him. Sorry to sound so bleak. But, it is reality. <P>I do love my husband, and I realize that I do want my marriage to work, but I have to accept the reality that what I have done causes marriages to end, and I pray mine doesn't. Too bad I didn't think about this before.<P>It has been 4 months since d-day, and some days are good, some are bad. It is hard. Very hard. Don't expect that your H will be willing to do the Harley principle right off the bat. Like I said, its been 4 months, and my H still struggles with it. Not to say that we aren't working through it, however, there is still plenty of Love busting happening on both sides.<P>Good Luck<BR>PJ<BR>

Susie<P>Just wondering if you read my response to your other post and if you did, did it mean anything to you?<P>Just wondering......<P>[censored] from Texas

Susie - please give us an update after he gets home and you have a minute.<P>WAT