Ok H has been out of the home since Sept 24th. He is now living in his own place, he does not have a lot of money. I am still paying his car insurance and one of his credit card bills. He pays me no child support for my son but, is still paying for insurance for me S and D... I have not file legal seperation or divorce papers I will not do it. If he wants it then he has to do so. He claims he does not have the money.<P>I want to cancel his car ins and let him know that he needs to pay it now and stop making payments on the credit card. I told him awhile back that we will let the courts decide what he needs to pay in support and I will deduct the Insurance from that amount.<P>I feel that he needs to responsible financially for these obligations but, I also know it will hurt him financially and probably push for OW to move in with him.. Which I feel is a good thing. Reality will hit them even sooner. However I feel this will be LBing because he will be angry about it and it will put him in a bad position...<P>And if I am not going to file papers how am I going to get this support thing initiated?<P>Help!!!!<P>Diana

These financial matters are really touchy. Could you simply come up with a support structure even though you don't have an agreement? That is what we do. I pay my wife X dollars for child support. I make more $$, so it kind of goes by your income ratios here when you have joint custody. She asked for less than she could ask for though.<P>I can only suggest that you attempt to work something out. If you can do this without pulling a fast one and stopping the payments you are making, that would be good. Hopefully he can agree to something reasonable. You don't need an agreement to be doing the support thing, you just have to agree.<P>Thanks for your reply to my post. Last couple of days have been up and down somewhat. Common these days.

Gooch - ditto Rick. Separation papers are not the end of the line. The only down side is that you have to pay an attorney to get it done, but this is your best protection and brings home the reality that this is serious business. Consider it.<P>WAT

Hi there. <P>In California, you can file these papers without a lawyer. At every courthouse, there is a Family law facilitator that will help you fill them out. They are very busy, so get there early.<P>I think, since you are no longer living together, that you can file for support without initiating a divorce, if that makes you feel any better. <P>There are a number of child support calculators on the Web. One is at <A HREF="http://www.alllaw.com." TARGET=_blank>www.alllaw.com.</A> Or punch in child support calculators into a search engine.<P>You need to protect yourself and your children. I know it is hard. Hardest thing I ever had to do.<P>Good Luck