Well New Years was great!!! Had the time of my life surrounded by tons of great friends and my daughter. I sure hope 2001 is better then last year, Ick....<P>Anyhow in the 3 months that H has been gone he has only contacted his best friend once. Basic justification call you know?<P>So today BF wife and I are chatting she says she just got done talking to H. He actually called them and wanted to go hangout with them today. Friends are leary they do no want to hangout with OW... So as they are talking he is telling her about my sisters baby(he hates my sister) He also complained that he did not do anything for New Years other then stay home. Friend replied with "well sometimes it is nice just to stay in" He says that is all I ever do!!! BOO HOOO<P>Sounds like he is feeling sorry for himself. Friend was very suprised by the call and said he was just as nice as could be and was talking a lot about family.<P>After the conversation my sister tells me that H called this morning. He wanted to talk to the kids. They were in bed so he ended up on the phone with my sister for awhile (once again the one he hates). Sis was telling him about what me and the kids did for NY. She told him that we dd not get home until 7 this morning he was quite suprised. See the band that we went to see are friends of H and mine, he has not contact with them now since he walked away from his lfe....<P>After all this time he has not talked to anyone my sis and friends are very suprised of his actions. Kinda think he is getting a little lonely and needs for sense of family and friends. Also they feel that Ow must not have been around so that was the only reason he is calling. I am sure his life is becoming a little boring with her being the only person he has..<P>With all the info I found out over the weekend it sounds to me as if his Fantasy is becoming more of a reality.. Boo Hoo again.<P>I am sure when you have no outside communication with anyone other then OW you run out of things to say, sounds like he is longing for some familiar people and closness with them. Oh well he is reaching out to them not me. I just feel as if he is starting to wake up a little.<P>My kids are getting to the point where they don't want to see him that much due to OW always having to be there.. He is going to pretty much only have her in his life. Hopefully it will start causing more issues then what I know are already there.. This is very gratifying to me to say the least..<P><BR>Thanks<BR>Diana

Ya Diana,<P>Sounds like you are in about the same place as me... starting to see them come out of the fog just a little. <P>Did I see that he left the house the same time as mine? My H left Sept13.<P>Apparently OW can't meet all of their needs. Hooray!<BR>Lora

Yes H left Sept 24th. He has been really focused on moving and changing everything. I think he is finally settling in to a normal routine and he is feeling not al of his needs are being met. Not by me but friends and family. His changes have nothing to do with H outlook at me, but I know he is missing a lot of the things he had in his life for so long and now that he is settled of course he is gonna miss them. He cannot have these things with OW, they were things that our life offered him. He walked away from an awful lot and I think it is starting to set in. Already have witnessed that he is the same way in the A as he was with me...<P>Diana

Sounds like you have it figured out quite well. The fantasy wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Hopefully it continues to fall apart. Sounds like it will.<P>Glad to hear this.

Hi Goochy:<P><BR>Having been throught his several times I agree with you that H is beginning to miss what he has thrown away.<P>I think in the beginning, the WS is so certain of what he/she is doing that they forge ahead like a lion...and there is no stopping them. They've found what they think they've been missing and they will give up every thing to have it.<P>But after a while, it naturally loses some of its appeal as the WS finds that OP cannot fill the hole that is left in his life...no one person can do that. I think they expect that everyone else will just adjust to the "rightness" of what they have done and eventually family and friends will just except it and things will go on as usual...sans old spouse. <P>Unfortunately for them and good for us...that's not the way it usually happens...children resent OP, family does not automatically always side with them, friends are ambivalent about their loyalties....things change...things that they didn't expect to change.<P>So hang in there..it sounds like it's wearing off for him. Don't be discourage because he is seems to be missing only the children. Believe me he is missing his old life and you are a part of that. You are just the last one he will admit that too.<P>Good things may be happening. Let us know.<P><BR>Angels and Prayers ~ Faye